Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Tariq Azeem: Cunt

Instead of wasting valuable time thinking of a funny or jazzy angle on things when someone really pisses me off, I have resolved to simply use their name and follow it with the word "cunt" in the title. Allow me the pleasure of introducing the first cunt (or Premier Cunt) in this series, Honorable Minister Tariq Azeem.

Here's a news item from Dawn today:
Mr Azeem told Dawn that the issue was now between Pemra and TV channels which needed to follow rules and regulations and a certain code of conduct.

“TV channels can resume their transmissions if they pledge not to indulge in deliberate defamation,” the minister said, adding that criticism of the armed forces and judiciary would not be tolerated.

The minister said that TV channels would have to avoid showing gory scenes and discourage obscenity to get their transmissions resumed.

Responding to a question, he said that TV channels had earlier held out an assurance that they would voluntarily enforce a certain code of conduct. “But so far they have not come up with their own code of conduct,” the minister said.

He said that rumours spread by certain TV channels about the house arrest of the president caused the stock market to crash on Nov 5 and rumours like these could not be allowed to be aired by TV channels.

“How can you broadcast such sensitive news without getting it confirmed from the government,” Mr Azeem asked.

About entertainment channels, the minister said that they also needed to be regulated to ensure that there were no vulgar scenes in TV dramas and ads and that dresses of artistes in dramas were also not improper.

When reminded of the suspension of transmissions of CNN, BBC and Al-Jazeera channels, he said the government was reviewing its policy about them.

“At times you watch highly objectionable scenes on foreign news channels such as gay marriages etc which is unacceptable in our society,” the minister said.

Similarly, he said, foreign TV channels sometimes made derogatory remarks about Islam and the people of Pakistan and government functionaries. He said Pemra was looking into these issues and would soon come up with a policy about these channels.

Deliberate disinformation? You mean lying? Perhaps something like, oh I don't know, lying about elections being held this year and no emergency being imposed? Vulgarity? You mean something like scratching your balls on national television? Gay marriage? Derogatory remarks about Islam? Are you fucking kidding me?

Listen, you prick. Don't insult our intelligence. Just stop it. Next time someone asks you about curbs on the media, just say "We don't feel like we should hear criticism." Bus, khatam. End of story. Saying this is about gay marriage and vulgarity is so far removed from the truth that it doesn't just insult our intelligence, it insults the concept of insulting our intelligence. So please: shut the fuck up.



AKS said...

Well Mr. Cunt-e-Azim most Pakistanis didn't see these rumours, on the 5th, because the TV channels were taken of the air on the 3rd . The fact that your cunt face got to see these channels means that you are flouting the ban...Papa Mush aint going to be happy - "Somebody's gonna get a beating real bad"!

AKS said...

"About entertainment channels, the minister said that they also needed to be regulated to ensure that there were no vulgar scenes in TV dramas and ads and that dresses of artistes in dramas were also not improper."

A long time ago, in a land far away, there once lived a man called ZIA, modest and humble, pious to the core, there was to be no 'skin' in the land lest delivered straight to his hand.

He met a man called MUSH, for whom a little skin was just a must. He danced with Junoon and pranced with models, glancing at fashion shows were to his taste for oh so 'enlightened' and moderate was he that poodles became all the rage.

But MUSH's Happy Days were to end, his heart filled with hate when the FONZ ran off with the babe;

He went to Yoda, who told him to hold his soda, Mush cried and cried for he was never to be a Jedi Knight.

In a spaceship far above the sky, MUSH chose to fight, the FONZ stood prepared with jell in his hair and leather on his hip, they fought and jumped and jumped and fought, light sabre in hand MUSH turned to his foe and said "FONZ I AM YOUR FATHER".

FONZ the brave would not succumb, for watch Begum Nawazish Ali he so must.

FONZ battled and battled, but try as he might, there was just no respite.

He slipped and fell, to his death, as LUKE, HANS and LEA frolicked by the sea, as the majority of the silent watched a DVD.

The eternally damned did rejoice, the wretched souls frolicked in the pits of hell, as the majority of the silent watched a VCD.

Thus our land was once again pure and sacred for all to see, it was now time for MUSH to remove the mask of sodom he so wore.

Lo and behold it was revealed,
ZIA was he.