Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year To All

Here are 13 lucky predictions for 2008. Readers are invited to submit their own in the comments section.

1. The PPP storms to an election victory, and Amin Fahim becomes Prime Minister. The PPP splits into two camps as a power tussle ensues between Fahim and Zardari. Bilawal wonders what the hell he's gotten himself into.

2. John McCain beats Hillary Clinton in a tight race to become U.S. President. Joe Lieberman is his veep. The Clintons put us all out of our misery and get a divorce.

3. The MQM and PPP split the city government in Karachi, leading to the only situation in the world where an impasse and chaos exist simultaneously.

4. Chicago stays cold. I bitch about it until 2009.

5. Australia continue to dominate, winning 16 of their 18 tests in the year, drawing with New Zealand once and losing to the Windies once. Ponting ends the year with 43 total test hundreds and ups his average to 61.

6. Phoenix beats San Antonio to reach the Finals after ugly injuries to Duncan and Bowen in a collision suffered in practice. Their joy is short-lived as they lose to Boston in the Finals in 5 games.

7. Man U win the Premiership. Real win the Champions League and La Liga. Barca sell Ronaldinho for 80 million to Chelsea, fire Rijkaard and hire Mourinho. I stop supporting Barca.

8. There is a massive breakdown in Pakistan-Afghanistan relations, as a surge in violence in the border areas, due primarily to a destabilized Pakistan government, forces Karzai and Musharraf on to the back foot.

9. Musharraf stays in power.

10. Paul Krugman and Bill Kristol have to be separated by Tom Friedman, as a tussle over who gets to the office water cooler faster quickly morphs into a fistfight. They're then given a talking to on coexistence by Nick Kristof. Maureen Dowd writes a hilarious-but-at-times-indecipherable column on the incident.

11. Younis becomes Pakistan captain, with Lawson fired as coach and Malik dropped as captain (and player) by April. Younis' form as a batsman suffers, leading to speculation of Misbah's ascension to the role.

12. China and Japan pull the global economy out of a mini-recession.

13. I continue to make retarded predictions that never come true. Our readers continue to point and laugh.


C.H. said...

All these conspiracy theories do is worsen the situation in Pakistan. To suggest that President Musharraf ordered a suicide bombing is not only wrong, its ridiculous. A secular ruler despised in the extremist world using an Al-Qaeda tactic is on par with the crazies here in the United States who suggest that the Bush Administration was really behind 9/11.

I plan on submitting an op-ed to a local newspaper giving my analysis of who was behind the assassination and why they did it.

On my blog, www.unitedworldforpeace.blogspot.com I have also put together a list of reasons why the conspiracy theories just don't stack up.

Arif said...

Prediction #3 is sad, funny, and most likely, going to be true.

I'd say your description of Karachi this year fits for Pakistan as a whole.

It's perplexing, and yet it makes sense. Taoists would love Pakistan. Maybe that explains the strong relations with China.

And I don't know what's worse, an MQM in power or out of power.