Monday, March 10, 2008

Amin Fahim gets Bitch Slapped

The nail biting saga of the appointment Pakistan's Prime Minister, the true leader of our democratic nation, continues unabated. As Ahsan pointed out in the previous post Asif Zardari seems to have laughed his way to the bank; the electoral one of course!

But Amin Fahim's not going without a fight. Well, if by fight we mean looking dejected and issuing semi-cryptic conflicting statements and half-assed conciliatoy remarks. Amin Fahim issued a statement on the 8th that "there is a feeling on the streets that I am being insulted, humiliated and betrayed." On the same day Amin Fahim attempted to convene an emergency meeting of the ARD, of which he is the President, but, as Dawn reports, disaster was averted at the last moment after 'some PPP leaders intervened'. Thank the lords; had that happened life as we know it would've ceased to exist, etc, etc.

Then yesterday, the 9th, the PPP and PML-N signed a historic accord. Conspicuous by his absence was Amin Fahim. Sensing trouble the PPP media hounds stated in the afternoon that Amin Fahim could not be in Bhurban as he had important business in Islamabad. But in the evening Amin Fahim stepped out of his Islamabad residence and told GEO that he had done nothing all day and that he had not gone to Bhurban as he was not invited, slyly remarking that "[he] did not offer his prayers without the Azaan." Tellingly, he added that "even though the people wanted him to be PM, the final decision lay with Zardari" and that "[he] would respect any decision taken by the Party." (Note his use of "Zardari" and "Party") Read Dawn's report on yesterday's events here.

In response Sherry Rehman informed the press today that Amin Fahim had in fact been invited but the invitation had not reached him. Ah, of course. You see the page had left marathon on time and would've made it to Fahim's house had it not been for the homing pigeons that shat on him.

The PML(N) feeling left out has also joined the party. Thank God, finally, a voice of reason. So let's hear what one PML(N) stalwart had to say: "Amin Fahim is not an acceptabe candidate for the PM slot. As Benazir lay dying in the hospital, Amin Fahim was sitting in the President's House." Another PML(N) man in the know pipes in that he expects Zardari to be PM and Nawaz to be President.

Man, that could so fucking happen. In fact I'm gonna have to call my bookie right now and place a bet on this outcome. Hold on a second.

Sorry for the wait, was just haggling with the bookie, gave me great odds on Altaf Hussain winning the Nobel Peace Prize, just couldn't resist (So what if I had to place my house as security, I'm bound to profit).

Back to the show. Amin Fahim not be content with having the ageless, makeupful, political guru Sherry Rehman having the last word, issued the following the statement from Karachi airport just a while back: "I was not invited. There is no confusion about this." What a lie. God some people just can't take the honourable and chaste Sherry Rehman on her word.

Amin Fahim has really gotten screwed here. There were reports a few weeks back that Amin Fahim's family (I'm presuming his son who also got elected) might get leadership in Sindh as compensation for giving up the PM slot. The nomination of Zardari's ancient buddy Qaim Ali Shah (who also beat Nisar Khuro) as Chief Minister Sindh has made it evident that Zardari is just not prepared to have his leadership of the PPP challenged. You've really got to feel for Amin Fahim. His last statement of the day says it all:

"They say good things happen to those who wait."

Chaudhry Ahmed Mukhtar, he who beat Chaudh of Guj, seems to be leading the race for the PM (interim) nomination. I wonder if a candidate from Punjab would be acceptable to the Sindhi quarters of the PPP, especially as it comes so soon after the death of a Bhutto?


Ahsan said...

the azaan/prayers quote made me laugh uncontrollably in a public computer lab for about 3 minutes straight.

Asad said...

Rs. 5 should start a pool, taking bets on who'll become PM.
my personal assertion is that not only will Zardari not become PM, but that reports of his aspirations are about as accurate as post-election news of NS suggesting Aitzaz Ahsan's name for PM.

changinguppakistan said...

Great post - I actually just blogged about the same topic, but I think "Amin Fahim Gets Bitch Slapped" is definitely more fitting than my tame title, "Bye Bye Fahim." Ultimately, I feel sorry for the guy - it's one thing when PML-N lackeys talk crap about you to the media, it's another entirely when your own party, in which you are one of the most senior politicians, turns against you.

Ahsan said...

by the way, i'd like to add that altaf hussain is definitely more deserving of the nobel peace prize than kissinger. it is not as outlandish an outcome as you seem to intimate.

AKS said...

Yeah, I know it really isnt that outlandish; I was thinking of Arafat as I wrote the post. But I still thought it was quite funny (moreover I couldnt come up with a substitute - now that we've had a nazi Pope and may soon have an atheist saint)

AKS said...

Came across an interesting biographical article on Amin Fahim in The News. According to them Amin Fahim has released a book of poetry and is the leader of the largest 'Spiritual Family' of Pakistan.

But there are some demons in his closet. He has four wives and five sons but no one knows how many daughters because the family never announces the birth of daughters! Murmurs of marriages to the Quran in his family abound. It's interesting to note how this is a non-issue. Just goes to show how less such a thing matters in Pakistani politics.

Here's the link:

Ahsan and NB, I wasn't sure if this should go on as a seperate post; don't want Amin Fahim overkill. What do you think?

Ahsan said...

yeah i think we've had enough of the poor sod. leave him be.

Anonymous said...

4:17 pm GMT
I am one of the founder worker and son of a founder president of PPP in a district in Punjab. I am a law graduate with legal experience and first & only Pakistani lawyer who earned scholarship to study Intellectual property law in USA. In an open examination for commercial counselor,I was selected but never appointed because of PPP background in Nawaz Sharid tenure as PM.And above all, I have worked in Iranian Embassy, Saudi Arabia for 12 years- 3 years in Shah time and 9 years after Islam revolution. Although I was a local employee but 7 Iranian ambassador with whom I worked may tell that I was always a 2nd/ 3rd man of the embassy and have been coordinator for Organization of the Islamic Conference. Would, Prime Minister Yousaf Gilani be kind and fair enough to appoint me against any opening any where in a Pakistani embassy abroad.I am sure if a daughter of a PPP leader could be appointed directly, why not a PPP worker with necessary experience could be appointed. Thanking you in advance, KHWAJA AFTAB ALI, 4418 St. Georges court, Kissimmee, Florida 34746, USA

ali said...

Khwaja Aftab Ali:

Are you a Pakistani citizen or an Iranian citizen? How could you have worked for the Iranian embassy in Saudi Arabia, as a 'local' employee?? No foreigner is granted 'local' or citizen status in Saudi Arabia.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your comments and concern of my citizenship. I am a Pakistani born multilingual person. Local employee mean, a non diplomatic job to distinguish from diplomatic staff of the embassy who are of course the national of that country. Thank you. Khwaja Aftab Ali