Sunday, March 23, 2008

Rent Boys for Defence Aunties

I know I'm supposed to be blogging about the nomination of Syed Yusuf Raza Gilani for the post of Prime Minister. But I just cannot be asked, particularly as you can read his profile here, the supposed inevitability of his nomination here (or alternatively how he was a dark horse here), and watch him backhand fondle his way to second base with Sherry Rehman here or here.

Instead, on this fine Sunday evening and in keeping with my supposedly heathen ways, I have elected the blogging gutter and will post the following flyer, copies of which were apparently being thrown into cars in Defence. It reads:
"Ladies Body Massage
Specialists in Kissing, Sucking, Licking & More More More."

They apparently offer a range of services which include popular favorites such as:

"Breast ko purkashish banane ke liye: Breast Developing Massage."
The service providers are are mindful of their clients concerns about being caught by their husbands/fathers and offer reassurance, stating:
"Afzaish Nasal ki pecheidgi se bachne ke liye ala imported condom ki suhoolat bhi maujood hai."
Also, they add hopefully:
"Aap 2 larkyon kay group ki soorat mein bhi mujh se rabta kar sakti hein."
Lovely. I suppose you cant fault them for their elaborate scheme to get laid, but to have the audacity to charge for it, I mean really. And how the hell would a guy throw this flyer into a parked car? Doesnt that translate into a risk (bordering on certainty) that at some point he was going to get his ass kicked? There are indeed many unanswered questions. Frankly this whole story as it stands shouldn't be taken at face value (except for the fact that the flyer exists, and that someone somewhere at some point wants/wanted keenly to satiate his "jinsi zarooriyaat" without further self indulgence).

Consequently, I am going to try to get one of the co-authors of this blog to do some investigative work and dial the number and see what happens. If either of you are reading this, do not dial from your regular mobile or land line. It could be a sting. And know that in Central Jail, 'Ladies Body Massages' are mandatory. Even if you're not a lady.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im so scandalized. Oh my God. I think I need to lie down.

AKS said...

HAHAHAHAHAH!!This is unbelievable.

I'm now going to go and scandalise my office. Thank you so much NB.

This is just can't be true. It's just too dangerous. Moreover Defence Aunties are much too used to 'having fun' with high school kids than to bother with a professional. NB don't try to hide your illustrious past - we all know what you were getting up to at Tubby Auntie's house during those lusty summer days!

NB said...

What tubby Auntie you bastard. There were also hot ones. Your face is a lusty summer day.

Anonymous said...

Quit squabbling you two and start calling that number. I need to know who picks up.

NB said...

Yaar i dont want to call it. My visa will get revoked.Tell AKS to call it. He doesnt even have a visa (HA!)

Anonymous said...

No visa? What a loser!

Ahsan said...

i'm going to call. i have a calling card for pakistan. i'm going to go to a public telephone (not use my cell because the number is still traceable) and then call. this is truly brilliant.

naqiya said...

wow

ahsan, please report your findings asap!

naqiya said...

okay i take that back. apparently i'm calling them....nb, i;m awaiting instructions...

Anonymous said...

Oh my God this is too exciting. Kudos to the brave Rs. 5 investigative team for putting life outside the central jail on the line and calling. Waiting for minute by minute reports of the call!

naqiya said...

so. i've been calling for a good 20 minutes. guy has his cellphone off. on the flyer it says i should leave an sms if its off, so clearly this is part of his crazy plan somehow. nb and ahsan, what next?

i'm quite sad, i practiced and everything!

Ahsan said...

i had a sneaking suspicion this would happen (the cell phone being off bit). i agree with you; it is sad. frankly i don't know how we can proceed from here. NB and AKS, any ideas?

Anonymous said...

one idea is to get a new prepaid SIM card and sms this person. if you can get someone else's NIC to obtain the connection that would be a bonus (considering everyone's drivers and the drivers' servant has a brokerage account at the KSE a SIM card should be a relatively straightforward process).

also, after a min of googling it seems 0344 is a telenor prefix and the first digit being a 4 means its from lahore. that kind of figures as lahore is rather well known for these "services" than Karachi (seems like the guy is looking to expand into new markets). if someone knows someone at telenor see what they can gather about the account. privacy laws be damned!!!

I think this is some sort of a social experiment by a very very very khwar person to see how many other very khwar people are out there in pakistan that will call/sms this person. the whole thing sounds extremely bogus to me.

My final comment is “don’t waste the time, dear, don’t waste the time”

Ismat said...

This post made my day :) As exciting as the flyer and everything it promises may be, it definitely sounds like some bogus scheme to obtain cell phone numbers (especially those belonging to sad little naive women - or men even). Or maybe it's practical joke? If only...

NB said...

Well, theres no response. So its either a practical joke, or the flyer is too dated.

Alas.

Anonymous said...

aww.. i wanted to know what a porkashish breast looked like!

Ahsan said...

anon956:

there's websites for that, you know. a somewhat less convoluted avenue to your destination than our elaborate scheme.

Anonymous said...

Well i called in the number and a woman picked up the fone kept saying hello hello and a voice of a younger girl from behind asking something... i just said hello once as i didnt want to talk keun k bhai i am a boy and this was apparently for girls or ladies... and i m not good at mocking a lady's voice... so yeah this number works... it work at 7.30 pm PST. I am in germany tho so no problem with tracing.... its a pity really i cudnt talk. and guys where is this number from? cuz i heard k u can tell where this number belongs to karachi ya lahore?

NB said...

@Anonymous

Man, much respect for following through with it when all of us had given up. When we tried we couldnt get through, and no one responded to our texts.

I am encouraged by your success, and will try again and continue to do so periodically until I get through. Our Poshida Rent boys wills not evade the mildly disturbing curiousity of fiverupees.

Anonymous said...

hi all aunties plz contact me at 0343-2584892 or 0343-2476069 for sex masaj n secret relations

Anonymous said...

Hello. All Aunties who have thrust for sex and like massage for long time can contact me . I have such a miracle in my hands you will feel the difference. I like those aunties who are heavy by weight and looking beautiful from body. 0345-5518368

i need karachi aunties for hot n secret relations said...

http://boysreadyforsexwithdefnceaunties.blogspot.com/
try this psot for having sex fun n secret relations b/c i m new n want defence hot karachi women for sex secret relations

defnece aunties n girls needed for secret relations said...

hi i m waiting at 0343-2584892 or 0343-2476069 or open the link blow
http://boysreadyforsexwithdefnceaunties.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

hello amazing aunties will make u more hot mono 0343 2366014

Anonymous said...

AN OFFER FOR AUNTS 45PLUS
any aunty 45plus can contact me for sexual enjoyment in karachi the aunties from defence and clifton areas are preferably welcome.i m a master in masssaging and ora sex also any sort of sex enjoyment u need.my num is 03022972009.03232849039.plzsms before call.

Anonymous said...

Ahmed here, just call me on 0333-3057421 / 03442425306 i can fuck any girl/lady/women married or unmarried. i fulfil there desire that thing is for sure

Anonymous said...

Hi if any women/girl any age want to get satisfied just mail me at hungry4sexp@yahoo.com i will satisfy you. dnt worry just try it.

Body Maggager said...

Hello, I m asif, 26 from Karachi. all kinds of relaxing massage like sensual, relaxing, Theraupatic, massage forjoint and body pain releiving, massage for stress releiving......, and any type of service u need.. Secrecy is assured as a professional. I am offering my services for Free for upto 1 trial with no charges and Strictly only for Ladies at ur own place. Feel free to contact me. Plz ask for an appointment email me or sms me on my mobile my
longdick_4hotty@yahoo.com
cell# 0334-2040830

Anonymous said...

ANY GIRL/AUNTY (married or unmarried) WANT SEX THEN PLZ CALL ME 0300-2256578 or sms me

Anonymous said...

Hello for sex
I am 19 young boy from (okara)
agar kisi larki yaa aunti ko mari privait main zarooorat hooo tu my moblle # +92-0307-7669301
And my E-mail Saqeesad786@gamil.com

Anonymous said...

For privait
I am 19th years young boy any aunties and any girls of Lahore,OKara,Depalpur
for sex enjoyement PLZ call me
03077669301 or send me e_mail: on saqeesad786@gmail.com

Ahsan said...

Oh for fucks sake, can we please somehow ban any further comments on this post? And the other aunty sex post too? I think we've all had quite enough.

Anonymous said...

whoa! seriously.
or maybe exercise comment moderation for a change?

NB said...

I like the fact that we still draw horny commenter to this blog. Comment moderation be damned!

NA said...

hi

NA said...

hi all aunties iam 22 year old and have fresh big and hot plz contact me at 0323-4103004 for sex masaj n secret relations

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I m 25 year old young guy in Karachi.If any one (only for Female) wana sex so mail me at sana_babezz@yahoo.com

It's all about free of coast...