Sunday, April 13, 2008

Shoaib Akhtar Is Like Osama bin Laden, And The PCB Is Like The U.S.

I don't want to comment on the intimate details of the Shoaib-PCB imbroglio. I do, however, want to say a quick word on the reaction(s) to the entire issue, which can broadly be defined as occupying one of two categories. The first is the "he's a complete prick, deserves no sympathy, and had it coming" reaction. This, incidentally, is the position I hold on the matter. The second is the "he's indisciplined at times, but the punishment does not match the crime, he's a matchwinner, and the PCB is chock full of complete chootias" reaction. A surprising number of people hold this view, including a couple of PakPassion loonies (though the vast majority of that crew is on the right side of this debate).

I have a strong suspicion that the people who hold the second position do not do so out of any particular affinity, love, or respect for Shoaib. Instead, their views, I suspect, are rooted in a deep and abiding antipathy toward the PCB. There is of course an obvious analogy to be made here: that of Osama bin Laden and the U.S.

Now before anyone gets their skirts in a twist, please let me state for the record that, no, I do not consider Shoaib to be as vile as a mass-murderous thug, and no, I do not consider the PCB's dimwitted actions remotely as damaging as the Iraq war. This disclaimer is for people who do not understand the definition of, or the concept behind, analogical reasoning.

My point is only this: it's quite funny how some people will end up supporting Mr. X just because Mr. X is presumed to be fighting the good fight against Mr. Y. If Mr. Y is sufficiently unpopular, then Mr. X can get away with an awful lot of shit and still retain a modicum of popularity. This does not mean that Mr. X's favorability ratings do not decline with every retarded incident; only that there will always be a small pocket of people who support Mr. X irrespective of what he does as long as he's perceived to be sticking it to Mr. Y.

This schema can be used to analyze both OBL and Shoaib. By all accounts, they've caused the very people they purport to represent a ton of damage. And yet, for a number of people, they are deified, exclusively because they're seen to be taking on a more powerful and pernicious entity.

Oh, and also: Imran Khan supports them both.


Saim said...

Ahsan, man, you took the fun out of your post.Had you not explained what an analogy is, you might even have had quite a few comments by now!

Ahsan said...


yes, i suppose if i had left the post with just the title and added nothing to the body, it would have been a tad more interesting.

Ali said...

i'd like to disagree on one minor/major point, one that might differentiate shoaib akhtar and OBL:
in your last para you said "By all accounts, they've caused the very people they purport to represent a ton of damage." Slightly disagree because - although i don't exactly know who shoaib akhtar purports to represent in this case - i think OBL has caused damage, yes, to muslim ppl in general, but i think he and his followers openly proclaim they do not purport to represent the majority of us muslims in the world, because in their eyes, the rest of us muslims who aren't engaged in some type of 'fight' or 'resistance' with the West are not their brethren.
Example: July 2005 bombings in central london which targetted a couple predominantly muslim neighbourhoods (Edgware road-arab; Kings Cross-bengali). For the attackers, the rest of us muslims aren't "muslim enough" or are "apathetic to the cause", thus making us sell-outs to the 'enemy' or what have you.

Saim said...

No, that would have just been stupid.

I was only referring to your 4th paragraph where you took the time to explain what an analogy is to your readers.

Ahsan said...


oh, ok. well some of our readers share a proclivity to put words into our mouths and misperceive our ideas, so i just wanted to be absolutely clear what i saying.

Anonymous said...


zeyd said...

Dude you forgot the third category of reaction that kinda goes, ''i don't give a fuck what that choot gets up to anymore.''

AKS said...

@ Anonymous

You just don't get it. It's simple, Osama and Shoaib are comparable because they both have the same slave master. They are pawns in America's quest for controlling the region and neutralising threat from other powers (Sino-Russo-Hinutva Axis) and the annihilation of our culture, our heritage and our religion are, in the eyes of American officials, unfortunate but necessary. Osama and Shoaib represent two extremes and are being used by the Zionist dogs to misguide the Pakistani youth and lead them on a path that will eventually destroy the Islamic soul of Pakistan and the very identity of this great nation.

The US is using Osama to create a country of terrorists, which it can conveniently attack and is using Shoaib to create a country overrun with brothels and bars, that will eventually service the incoming American troops.

Just to clarify I'm not some anti-American, anti-Western kind of guy, and consider myself to be quite liberal. But I am a proud Pakistani and I can't just idly watch as my country becomes a footnote in America's Great Game.

It's time Pakistanis stood up and took notice and elected King Khan to the office. He knows how to deal with the Americans, the terrorists and bars and brothels.

sana said...

people like shoaib because he sticks it to the pcb? seriously?

i don't know about the category 2 people you talk to, but i always thought it was the out-of-this-world excitement of watching him run in in his prime. the flop of that once-full head of hair, in sync with those quivering cheeks as his legs hurtled on towards the crease. followed by the uprooting of rahul dravid's stumps. uff, electric.