Thursday, June 05, 2008

Every Time Imran Khan Speaks, Assume He Is Lying

A series of stunning statements from the man who has somehow managed to become a hero to upper-class liberals and Islamists alike. Lets deal with them one by one.

Imran Khan has defended the new government’s policy of pacification through peace pacts in the tribal region bordering Afghanistan, claiming that the incidents of suicide bombings in Pakistan have come down considerably as a result.
A list of all the suicide bombings (I’ve left out all other terrorist attacks since Imran apparently doesn’t believe they count) that have taken place since the new government took over is at the end of the post since most people don't want to read long, depressing lists. Here’s a summary: 173 have been killed in 15 separate incidents since the new government took over.

Then we have Imran commenting on infiltration by Pakistani Taliban into Afghanistan:

“They would continue to do so and some would even be fighting in aid of their Pushtoon brethren in Afghanistan against the ‘occupying troops’, so unless these troops leave Afghanistan, the so-called infiltration would continue,” he added.

Firstly, I have no idea what he means by “so-called infiltration”. Either they are crossing the border or they aren’t. If they aren’t, then the withdrawal of US troops isn’t going to affect this non-existent infiltration, is it? And Pakistani have been “fighting in aid of their Pushtoon brethren in Afghanistan” long before October 2001. Hundreds of Pakistanis fought alongside the Taliban against other Afghan forces and before that fought against the Soviets. If the US withdraws, they’ll find someone else to fight.

“[T]here were no suicide bombings in Pakistan before the Lal Masjid bloodbath”

If by Pakistan he means Lahore (which is what he wanted Pakistan to mean when he was cricket captain) then he has a point. If not, he’s a liar and a fool.

And then you have the little white lies, which I just find incredibly annoying

He said he had launched his party about 12 years ago specifically to struggle for the establishment of independent judiciary in his country.
Funny how this was never mentioned by the party in its original mission statement, where the only reference to justice is that it be “inexpensive and speedy”. The call for an independent judiciary is in their latest manifesto. When PTI was formed, their primary, maybe even sole, focus was on corruption.

So to sum up. Imran Khan please shut up. You have nothing to say.

List of suicide bombings since the new government took over.

February 25: A suicide bomber kills 8 while targeting an army lieutenant general outside the NADRA office in Rawalpindi.

February 29: A suicide bomber in kills four police officers in Mingora. Another 40 people are killed at the funeral for one of the officers.

March 2: If Imran Khan knew what irony was, he might not make such bone-headed statements. An example: A suicide bombing at a peace jirga in Darra Adam Khel kills 40.

March 4: Two suicide bombings at the Naval War College in Lahore kills 7 people.

March 11: Two suicide bombings - at the office of the FIA and an advertising agency in Lahore - leave 27 people dead.

March 15: A Turkish aid worker is killed at an Italian restaurant in Islamabad (not yet confirmed if this was a bomb blast or suicide bombing)

March 17: Two killed by a suicide bomber in Mingora.

April 25: Three people killed in suicide bombing in Mardan.

May 1: In a suicide bombing supposedly targeting HajI Namdar, 15 people are killed in a mosque in Khyber Agency.

May 6: Suicide bombing in Bannu kills 3 people.

May 18: 11 killed by a suicide bombing in Mardan

June 2: Probable, but not confirmed, suicide bombing outside the Danish embassy kills 8.


Ahsan said...

How dare you speak against The Lion, The Ever Truthful and Prescient, The True Leader Of All That Is Good And Vanquisher Of All That Is Bad?

May you burn in hell, Bubs.

Jemina Goldsmith said...


He knocked me up and that counts for something.

Anonymous said...

I wish he'd go back to knocking people up...

naqiya said...


ahsan, you know you secretly wish you were as hot as imran khan....

i have a present for you when you come to ny. and yes, it involved imran khan. get excited.

Anonymous said...

Uh dumass why don't you try and count the suicide bombings per day (on average of course) AFTER the peace pacts were made as opposed to before. Don't let your blind hatred of Imran manifest itself in your posts automatically

bubs said...

I chose suicide bombings from when peace talks started because I think it is a fair assumption to make that if the militants are serious about peace they would have halted violence during talks. Also keep in mind that if you include bombings that aren't suicide bombings, torching of music shops etc. then Imran's contention - that the peace pacts will work - is ridiculous and bears no resemblance to reality.

Shoaib Akhtar said...

Your adolescent rants are so gay. You obviously are trying to hide your homoerotic passions for Imran Khan. You want a little of that Pathan action.

In all seriousness, your "analysis" sucks ass. In order to analyze the efficacy of deals with the tribals, you need to divide your periods of analysis into three: before the talks, during the talks, and after the talks.

Instead, you just drop a list of suicide bombings since the new government came in power. Negotiations started before what the fuck does the new government coming into power have to do with that?

A little honesty would help. Otherwise, just go and join your beloved benign dictator as he flees to Turkey and is left with Abdullah Yusuf dancing for him in his harem.

bubs said...

Shoaib Akhtar
It is impossible to divide the list into the three categories you suggest because nobody was told when talks began and with whom.
The new government announcing that they were holding talks with militants seemed a convenient period to begin the list. But I can see why you would consider that problematic. In either case, the basic point that violence has not been reduced by talking to militants and inking peace deals stands.

12:39 AM

Anonymous said...

can you REALLY claim that violence has not gone down since the elections? We were getting almost a bombing a day before the elections! If nothing else, now its gone down to a bombing every three days

AKS said...

@ anon

I think you're missing the point - Bubs' basic contention is that peace deals haven't made the country more secure. I personally think that if someone feels otherwise they should go vacation in Swat (and find out the real consequence of these 'peace' deals).

There was certainly an increase in the number of bombings during the immediate pre-election and post election periods but this may be attributed to an attempt by 'militants' at capitalizing from uncertain political times.

With the politicians no longer in vogue the focus has shifted to the militants true love - foreigners, army men, tribal leaders loyal to the government and the Sherpao family. As a result of the increased bombings the people in the aforementioned list are heavily protected and difficult to target; with the exception of loyalist tribal elders, who have been targeted (but since those bombings happen in Dera Adam Khel and not Lahore we tend to pay little attention).

Another point I'd like to hypothesize is that the 'militants' may have exhausted the resources necessary for high value bombings (inside connections + plastic explosives + suicide bombers), resulting in a fall in the number of high profile attacks. The decreased number of attacks could therefore be due to logistical issues and not a change in intentions.

One more thing, there is an old saying amongst American law enforcement agencies (on movies at least) that "our failures our public but our successes aren't." Is it not possible that Pakistani authorities have been successful at preventing attacks in the major cities?

Shoaib Akhtar said...

BS. The negotiations period involves use of carrots and sticks by both sides. It's a unique period. Plus there are separate peace deals going on. So your conclusions don't stand.

Asfandyar said...

I like how you lot are attacked on Imran Khan with such venom. Why is a politician with the political nous of a cockroach, with the analytical skills of horse manure and with the oratory skills of a cricket (lolz pun) get the alleged saner members of our society so riled up?

Good on bubs for starting out with a nice caustic post on Imran too.

Also, I must digress; Imran Khan may very well be the politician to lead us one day once he gets this hypocrisy + stupidity business sorted out.

Like most people's support of Imran is justified; everyone else has raped the nation let the captain have his way too.

gerald said...

Seems some let their worship of a sports figure interfere
with their common sense.
A Lion on the field and moron in politics.
Taliban have played this game before and the results will be the same this time.
Much of the world looks askance upon a nation that harbors mass murderers and criminals. The terrorists want to force Pakistan into enmity with both the West and the East. But Pakistan needs good relations with the world to continue economic growth. We don't need isolation and theatrics, but stability and commerce, to build on the gains we have made.

The best way to keep America out of Pakistan's business is to defeat violent extremism. If you dislike America, that doesn't make the Taliban and al Qaeda good citizens of Pakistan. It is cutting off your own nose to allow your enemy shelter just to spite America. The extremists now threaten Pakistan more than America.
Taliban have no HONOR, you can't deal with those without honor.