Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Kung Fu Fighting and Vegetable Dildos

To be filed under stupid things Muslims do:

A few days ago I mentioned how scary it was that Altaf Hussain was urging kids to arm themselves. Well, now you can colour me unscared. All he was trying to do was indulge his Kill Bill fetish.

“Women should learn how to shoot and even they should take karate classes.

And perhaps they could send him videos of their karate lessons. Altaf bhai likes to keep his right hand busy.

Al-Qaeda’s anti-women drive is expanded to prevent them from using vegetables as dildos.

Besides the terrible killings inflicted by Al Qaeda on those who refuse to pledge allegiance to them, it has lost credibility for imposing a series of rules imposing their way of thought on the most mundane aspects of everyday life. They include a ban on women buying “suggestively-shaped” vegetables, according to one tribal leader in the western province of Anbar, according to the Daily Telegraph. Sheikh Hameed al-Hayyes, a Sunni elder, told Reuters: “They even killed female goats because their private parts were not covered and their tails were pointed upward, which they said was haram. “They regarded the cucumber as male and tomato as female. Women were not allowed to buy cucumbers, only men,” he added


changinguppakistan said...

Next Up: Al Qaeda devises the goat and vegetable burkas.

Ahsan said...

Maybe so for the goat, but there won't be one for the cucumber. After all, "they regarded the cucumber as male" which means all females must adjust to the cucumber's masculinity, not the other way around. That's how it works, Chup.

changinguppakistan said...

Damn you're right. And here I was SO looking forward to the cucumber donning the burkini.