Monday, September 29, 2008

I Love Filling Out Visa Applications

Because I get to answer questions like this:
In periods of either peace or war, have you ever been involved in the commission of a war crime or crime against humanity, such as: willful killing, torture, attacks upon, enslavement, starvation or other inhumane acts committed against civilians or prisoners of war; or deportation of civilians?

No man, but not for a lack of trying. I did attempt to enslave Imran Farhat once, but he kept dropping all the expensive things I have in my house, and I also had to constantly deal with his father in law giving me shit, so I dropped the idea fairly quickly.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

The entire american army should be ineligible for this visa

AKS said...

@ Ahsan

Don't they ask you to tick a box if you are, or ever were, a member of the Nazi Party? I know they do so in Europe.

P.S.

"Even if gender is socially and discursively constructed, venereal diseases are not, so stay away from the anthro department."

Hahaha, ok then. So do you still consider anthropology to be a non-science? Or was that History?

Tazeen said...

Yeah, they ask law abiding citizens like us such beautifully crafted questions and give visa and tenured professorships to someone like Hussien Haqqani who was a known Jamati ghunda at Karachi University involved in all kinda shenanigans that is student politics in Pakistan

AKS said...

@ Tazeen

I'm not sure that U.S. Visa Councilors grant tenure. I may be wrong, in which case, Ahsan you're again going about this the wrong way. First, you fail to follow the example of Dr. Amir Liaquat and refuse to get a 3 week online PhD and now you're not even courting visa officials. Why? Is it because you hate their freedom?

Laila said...

AKS:
They ask you that Nazi question on the form for US citizenship. As if they expect people to answer that one truthfully :P The question goes something like, "have you ever taken part in genocidal activities or were you ever a part of the National Socialist (aka Nazi Party) Party prior to World War II." Wonder what they would do if you ticked yes to that.

Majaz said...

This is inane. Even for a visa form for a country that's ravaged two other countries over invisible terrorists.

Tazeen said...

when i wrote 'them' i meant Amreeki in general not just the visa officials.

PS: Its not just amreekan, europeans also ask if you have ever been convicted by any court of law.

Ahsan said...

Anon332:

Well, luckily for members of the American army, they don't need a visa to enter Canada.

Tazeen:

Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone!

AKS:

I do, in fact, hate freedom.

Majaz:

The poor Canadians haven't ravaged anything...well, except for a few baby seals here and there.