Friday, December 05, 2008

How About Rubbing Shoulders With Us, Kevin? We're Humans Too

Kevin Peitersen, the captain of the English cricket team, states:

"We will assess the situation on Sunday night but I am confident we will have 15 lads who are going to play a Test match next week. We can buy ourselves some time in Abu Dhabi and I think it is fantastic we've got a bunch of players who went to India initially and now want to go back there. It's important that we go back and rub shoulder to shoulder with the Indian people in their time of need and show our support, hopefully by going back there to play some Test cricket."

Just a few months earlier, Kevin 'the saint' Peitersen, 21st century's answer to Mother Teresa , highlighted the overwhelming need for cricketers to visit Pakistan and show support with the embattled ordinary Pakistani people. He said:

"I've definitely got reservations - 100% - about going to Pakistan."

"I don't think pressure should be put on any individual, especially when you realise your life could be at risk."


"if the ECB has not made a decision I will make one after that meeting [on Aug 4]."

Unfortunately for Kevin, the ICC shattered his dream of showing solidarity with the Pakistani people and 'postponed' (read as canceled) the Champions Trophy. The great humanitarian Kay Pee was visibly distraught and with tears rolling down his heavenly cheeks mustered the following words:

"It's great that the boards have taken the decision."

"Players voiced their concerns from all around the world. All the players I know personally from other countries have expressed their concerns in terms of safety and security. It was good that it was taken out of our players' hands.

"Over the last couple of weeks it has been a huge topic of conversation in the dressing room. And last Sunday's briefing was a huge talking point. This whole week there's been ifs and buts and dos and don'ts. What I said to the team was to put it to the back of our minds because the most important thing for us is the one-day series with South Africa, and that means standing up to be counted on Tuesday. This is a huge decision and cricket can now take priority again."

Cricket certainly can take priority again. Well, unless you're a Pakistani and are going to spend the next few years attending weddings at National Stadium, surely that's the only thing the stadium is good for now.

Kay Pee I long for you, when will you come rub your shoulders with me? Jackass!


Osman Samiuddin highlighted the devastating impact of the ICC's decision to postpone the Champions Trophy in this article.


zeyd said...

Good old K.P, also known as Kevinder Peitersingh in some cricketing circles.

supersizeme said...

really??? man!! i'm so disappointed! :(
and england's only proved once again that they're a joke, no semblence of dignity left in them! pah!

Ahsan said...

There are two reasons for this. First, alcohol/nightlife/other random shit to keep foreign players busy. They don't have that in Pakistan, they have it in India, and that's why they hate coming here at the best of times.

Second, and this is the key point, India is viewed as a victim of terrorism whereas Pakistan is viewed as a perpetrator. Why stand shoulder to shoulder with people doing the killing? That's the logic they're using.

AKS said...


You're forgetting the potential for corporate endorsements. If Brett Lee can sing and if Saurav Ganguly can dance, then Andrew Flintoff can surely appear in a Kingfisher commercial doing something 'Englishy.'

I understand the points that you're making, I'm guessing there are few who don't, but those were not the reasons given for the cancellation of the Pakistani tours. The only justification given was security. I just want Kevin Peitersen, Graeme Smith, et al to just come out and say that Pakistan's a shit hole and we get damn bored so we're not going and / or that Pakistan is a terrorist country and we will boycott it on moral and political grounds (like South Africa under Apartheid). And I know I'm taking a simplistic approach here but their disingenuous arguments get to me. They don't even have to make a harsh statement, they could just come out and say: "look there are risks in going to India and Pakistan, but in the case of India the benefits outweigh the costs, in the case of Pakistan they do not."

Raza said...

He's just bitter that his boyish, metrosexual charm is lost on most Paksitanis... on top of that, he's not as in love with shahid afridi as the rest of us are: