Wednesday, April 01, 2009

An Endorsement

A controversial and charismatic politician, fighting in the country's supreme court for the right to contest elections, weighed down by past transgressions and yet bravely soldiering on, socially conservative and idiotic to a tee.

I am, of course, talking about Nawaz Sharif Sanjay Dutt.

Now, I'm not too familiar with Indian politics, so I had a little trouble deciphering the exact meaning of this quote:
"I am a law abiding citizen and I respect the court's decision," Dutt told journalists after the court order [barring him from contesting elections].

"But I'm not leaving Lucknow. This is my seat and it will remain so forever. Whoever replaces me as the candidate here, will be my candidate," he said.

If I'm reading this correctly, our friend Sanjay Dutt is trying to pull the ol' Putin-Medvedev or Kirchner-Kirchner trick. One wonders if it will work as well in Lucknow as it did in Moscow or Buenos Aires, respectively. One may also wonder who the hell cares.

Well, I do. Anyone who says stuff like "Manyataji [his wife] takes the decisions in the kitchen.. aaj biryani banegi ya phir kabab or chicken. That’s where she rules. In other matters I decide what’s to be done" and "Look, do you have a sister? Because if you do, then you’ll also know that no sister gets along with her brother’s wife. Had my mother been alive, she would’ve happily accepted Manyata. Manyata is a homemaker, just like my mother was" instantly piques my interest and, not coincidentally, wins my support.

So on behalf of the entire Five Rupees team, I am now endorsing Sanjay Dutt for whatever office he can't run for.


C.J said...

Let’s face it -Sanjay Dutt is driving us mad. His recent statements make us cringe.Instead for ‘serving the people’, serving the jail term is the better option for him.Mr. Dutt,it seems that your bollywood dialogues, catchy Gandhian lines and ‘jaddu ki jhappis’ couldn't work.From the looks of it, it seems you have to wait for a long time to serve Lucknow.Also, it will give enough time to people of Lucknow to accept you as a Munnabhai rather than as a khalnayak.

Yawar said...

Why focus on Sanjay DUFF when we have our own duffer politicians to deal with?

Might I bring you Mr. Taseer who always tries to one step ahead of the curve by constantly warring with the Sharif bros. Or our Malik the man who blames everything on foreign elements, even Pakistani cricket's poor state.

But then do not forget the head honcho. Smile, smile, wink, wink.

Anonymous said...

I still would wonder what justification this good citizen can present for keeping AK47 and ammo for personal protection.
However in the light of criminals we have in Indian parliament he indeed is a good citizen. He has atleast made me laugh and smile.

dudelove said...

he's half muslim and i quite believe with the mumbai riots raging he may have thought of getting hold of it for protection. if i was in his place, i would. infact, what other use could he possibly have of it?

however, no doubt he is a dumb oaf and should stick to gyrating on screen.

Augustus Fink-Nottle said...

Man, our actors and politicians all rock. Ahsan I say you endorse every celebrity politician in India especially those named Pappu.

I wrote about the young dashing man too and would like to link it but it doesn't seem to be hyperlinked so hopefully you can copy paste it in your browser.