Monday, June 22, 2009

Buffy Slays Edward Cullen

I doubt the Rs 5 readership includes many 15-year-old girls, but if there are any lurking around, they may want to look away just about now.

Any women readers in their mid to late twenties, annoyed by the Twilight mania of their younger sisters and tired of explaining how Buffy was the far superior, if less popular, pop culture phenomena should immediately watch this Buffy Summers/Edward Cullen mashup (via James Wolcott). This should leave no doubt that Buffy would take about five seconds to ram a stake through Cullen's heart, without even feeling the need to stop riffing with Willow and chiding Zander for his stupidity. Or, as Walcott puts it:

One of the comic bonuses of this mashup is how gulpily mannered Robert Pattison looks and sounds compared to the springy, melodic zing of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Drowning in his own beauty, he hems and haws like James Dean asking the correct time because in his world there are no watches to bind such delicate wrists.

And if there are any techical whizzes with a fondness for vampire tales reading this, do you think you could whip up an Angel/Cullen mashup? Angel may be the greatest vamp ever created (Blair from Gossip Girl doesn't count) with Spike a close second.

13 comments:

Ahsan said...

Bilawal loves you.

supe said...

bah! hate them all.
had i been a teenager, i probably would have been swept along in the whole twilight frenzy, thankfully i'm not and that edward cullen isn't my type.
now buffy, i never really got past that girl's freaky shaped eyebrows. wtf gellar - ever heard of tweezers?

Kalsoom said...

What about the vamps in True Blood, Bubs?

Komal said...

Er, Twilight hasn't just spread to 15 year olds. I'm currently doing my A Levels and there's been an outbreak of the plague. Twitards everywhere. Still, there are some sane people left.

Don't forget the vampires from The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice either!

bubs said...

Ahsan: The Bilawal facebook thing was fake. I doubt he has the intellect to appreciate Buffy.

Supe: Buffy wasn't one of the best characters on the show; Angel, Spike, Giles, Willow, Xander and Faith were all cooler. But its a damn fine show.

Kalsoom: I really enjoy True Blood but its not at Buffy or Angel level yet.

Komal: Yeah, I'd totally forgotten Anne Rice.

Laila said...

wow you just said Angel, Cullen, Blair and Spike all in the same sentence. I think I might love you a little bit.

bubs said...

Laila: Finally, someone who doesn't put down Buffy. The dismissal of Buffy as just another teen show may be one of the worst injustices in TV history.

Ahsan said...

Goddamn, the Facebook thing was fake? Damnitt. At least the Halloween party pics are real, right?

lala pathan said...

@ even though i hav always hated BUFFY, the guy who played EDWARD COLLIN is in no way how he should hav been as described in the book ( the most beautiful vampire ever.. bleh bleh bleh )...for me the best vampires were BRATT PITT , TOM CRUISE and ANTONIO BANDARAS, from "Interview with the vempire ".

Faiza said...

I protest the Buffy-Cullen mash-up. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Buffy was a great series with cool characters, weird eye-brows, lesbians and all. But why does it have to be compared to a vampire love story? Granted I don't really understand why some movies/books get cult status and others don't since I can never read or watch the same thing more than once. But as a 25 year old, I'm gonna say that reading Twilight was damn enjoyable. Easy reading, plenty of gushy pages to skip when you want to go faster but once the action scenes get underway they keep you gripped. At the end of a book you want to get your hands on the sequel (yes there are 4 volumes). Nothing compared to Harry Potter but those who are constantly looking for good fantasy/adventure can while away the time with this. The movie was slow but no denying, Edward is hot. I think you may not have had such a problem with this if there was a hot female bad/girl vampire lead. I mean in an unmarried world, I challenge you to say no to some smouldering vampire loving, so don't turn your nose up at the 15 year olds!

bubs said...

Faiza: First off, I should admit that I haven't actually read the Twilight series. But a lot of my friends have and refuse to shut up about it and I feel like the details of the books have been transferred to me by a process of osmosis.

The reason why us Buffy fans tend to get so defensive about the series and so riled up about the popularity of Twilight is the same reason people in their fifties and sixties constantly feel the need to assert the superiority of Lord of the Rings over Harry Potter. In both Lord of the Rings and Buffy, the mythology was a framing device to explore far greater issues. As much as I enjoyed the Harry Potter series, I have to admit the writing was weak, the symbolism obvious and the plot derivative. I would probably enjoy the Twilight books if I read them, but I suspect I would find them clearly inferior to Buffy.

Anonymous said...

new low.

Laila said...

bubs: trust me you will NOT, and I repeat you will NOT find the twilight books enjoyable if you ever read them. Yes they keep you hooked but once you're done with them, all you can think is wow I just read more than 2000 pages about some stupid incompetent girl who can't even walk on her without being carried around by her superhuman vampire boyfriend. The best way to describe them would be abstinence porn. At least Buffy has strong, independent female characters.

so yeah don't read Twilight. I own three of the four books and find Rob Pattinson (the guy who plays Edward Cullen) really hot, and I still maintain that the books are crap.