Wednesday, June 03, 2009

The Most Pointless Fight On Youtube

A couple of news stories on the decimation of the Tasmanian Devil population through cancer duel me to youtube the little beasts and eventually led me to a video titled: Animal Face-Off: Bear v Tiger - a CGI video made for a Discovery program.



I couldn't endure watching the whole video so I scrolled down to the comments, and boy was I in for a surprise. There are 11,256 comments to the video and more than a few exchanges that go like this:

Shyntaghar
Oh my god. Another disappointing computer animated fight scene. Study the damn tigers man, a siberian tiger, white or not, destroys a grizzly bear. It's nearly as large, just as strong, and a helluva lot faster. Go back to the books man, atleast the animation is decent, 'cause the outcomes are false.


Rexzer
Er, talk about going back to the books. A grizzly bear can weigh up to 1,500lbs, stand up to 8ft, and has a bite force of 1,200lbs...

uchicha913732846
rezxer its not a frikkin grizzley its a Siberian Brown Bear...etc, etc.

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A few comments later there is this exchange:

bank80
The bear didn't win by slapping the tiger..it won by breaking the tigers back, the bear is waaay too strong....idiots

loulourocks
still he slapped the tiger and then he pushed him! but its jsut animation in real life i bet d tiger wud win...have u seen siberian tigers killing and eating brown bears or grizzlys i have

bank80
yeah ok loulourocks, is your real name Tarzan. By the way, I really don't care...this tiger vs bear vs lion crap is pointless.

loulourocks
yeah wat d hell is ur name??? is im tarzan who r u hulk? freakboy?? and by d way if its pointless 2 u why do u watch it bank80

bank80
First of all loulourock,you need to learn how to write...The bear won, get over it.

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It gets better

rainbowsixguy1
tigers suck boo tigers bears kick ass

manedwolf7
u know what..u suck!!!!!

rainbowsixguy1
you suck tiger balls I bet you got raped by a tiger, tiger lover!!!!!!

manedwolf7
oooo what a brutal comeback, i can see why girls mature faster than guys

rainbowsixguy1
wow your a fag I was being funny dumbass bitch grow up fucktard

manedwolf7
wow you are a retard, by the way i agree with deathapproaches

rainbowsixguy1
yeah cause you guys are lovers that dont want to tell your parents about your secret love fucktards

deathapproaches
btw stop making out with your inflatable guy dolls, and for some tips: stop hanging in gay bars, its not healthy, btu wait your gay, so go fuck yourself :) i made my point dumbass.

rainbowsixguy1
dude I just made a gay comeback try something new gay butfucker:):):):):):):(FUCK YOU!

deathapproaches
Btw, learn how to spell retard wtf? butfucker? its buttfucker, so get a real gf before you say anything else:):):):):):) FUCK YOU stop suck'in your mom's balls and be a real man

deathapproaches
hey shithead i am a chick, go get laid fucker
and me n manedwolf7 have no relation nor personel information, so get get a real dick asshole.

rainbowsixguy1
so get get a real dick asshole that does not even make sense your fucking dumb fucktard, go fuck your self.

dathapproaches
say whatever the hell you want to people fucker, im not gonna respond to you asswipe. I dont talk to gau children so fuck off. have a nice day! fucker.

rainbowsixguy1
ok you are a tard wake up you cant spell gay, and what the fuck is a people fucker are retarded or 7 years old stop wasting my time bitch

deathapproaches
togather? bitch :)

......

These idiots kept at it for a while but I just couldn't take it any more and just had to give up. Now I'm pretty used to reading really inane sexist/racist/bigoted comments on youtube but these comments just take the cake. Why the hell would anyone care about which animal would win a fight, especially when said fight exists only in the imagination of a lazy (possibly stoned) producer at the Discovery Channel?

Further Reading:
Ahsan covered similar territory in a wonderul post titled: The Best Thing About Cricket Clips On Youtube.

12 comments:

Grant said...

I would say that this is the greatest use of the internet. The ability to say all of those things that you would never dream of saying to anyone in real life, you can say to anyone who has irritated you in any way. What is ever worse is the fact that quite literally anyone could be writing this, from the corporate CEO to the pathetic 12 year-old.

Ahsan said...

Awesome post. I too am a tiger fan -- I think in real life a tiger would be too quick for a bear and could attack it from various angles.

Tazeen said...

Grant,

you probably live in a more civilized world, where I live, any one can call you anything the without much provacation and people will actually tolerate it for road rage or something like it ...

On another, I wonder if CEO's commenting on Youtube videos is the reason we are in recession ...

Ali said...

Tigers kick ass. Bears are gay ass fucktards with a fuck crust and turd topping :D

zeyd said...

Whatever.

Bears fuck up pansy ass tigers. Tigers are just retarded loners with no life. At least bears like to sleep and kill fucktard tigers.

Bears 4eva!

karachi khatmal said...

the lahore zoo has just imprisoned several white tigers. they have no bears that they managed to catch. i think this settles the debate once and for all mothafuckars fucktards shitlickers ahmed qureshi zaid hamid etc etc

Ahsan said...

KK:

Just because humans can catch tigers better than bears doesn't mean that bears are stronger than tigers. You have to ask yourself what would happen in a one-on-one encounter: the tiger would completely annihilate the bear. No doubt in mind.

nsahmed said...

hahaha..i'm waiting for KK and Ahsan to reproduce those inane youtube threads...aks,if you're too busy to watch a 2min video,why would you waste your time going through all of those comments?!

Augustus Fink-Nottle said...

It depends on which bear you put up against the tiger. Polar bears would annihilate anything in their path. 10-12 feet in height, just imagine the sheer power generated.

Ahsan said...

AFN:

Please. I was watching Animal Planet a couple of days ago, and they had this video of this mother polar bear looking for food for her two babies. Anyway, long story short, she ended up on this island where there were a bunch of walruses or otters or something. And it couldn't even kill one! The walruses/otters formed a protective ring around their offspring, and the polar bear couldn't break through.

I repeat: a tiger would be too quick. It wouldn't even be a fair fight. I think only rhino or bull types could take a tiger, no one else.

Ahsan said...

FYI, to finish the story from Animal Planet above, the polar bear died of starvation.

zeyd said...

Two things about that story:

1) Chick polar bears are like half the size of dudes. Man's world and all that. A male polar bear would destroy most animals. I'm guessing only an elephant or rhino could match up.

2) Dude they live in the fuckin north pole. You're not exactly spoiled for choice when it comes to filling your stomach. Oh and there's the whole global warming thingy as well. Was the polar stranded on a glacier?

To sum up:

Bears fuck up pansy ass tigers. Tigers are just retarded loners with no life. At least bears like to sleep and kill fucktard tigers.

Bears 4eva!