Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Pakistani Cops Aren't Just Idiots They're Assholes

In the last post Zeyd noticed that in the video that the cop strolling in the foyer is a fucking idiot for doing absolutely nothing to help the injured student.

Our cops are idiots, but more than that they are real assholes.

A few months ago I had a pretty nasty accident on Khy-e-Ittehad. It was a Saturday afternoon and there was hardly a car on the road, a motorcycle was trundling along on the far left side of the road and I could see him from afar, as I neared the motorcycle, the rider veered sharply too the right. A lot of screeching and braking later I was on the pavement on the other side of the road, having flown over the divider in a bid to avoid the motorcyclist.

My first thought was that I had killed the rider, thankfully I had only clipped the idiot and he and his bike were relatively okay (the same though could not be said about my car). As it so happens, it took thirty seconds for a huge group to accumulate, and interestingly they all knew more about what happened than either me or the rider, even more interesting is the fact that at the time there were no cars coming from the other side or anywhere behind or in front of us to actually be able to see what happened, nor were there more than five people on the road around us. It didn't take long for people to accuse me of driving really fast, one person claimed I was going at 140 (I was driving at around 80-90 kmph), the motorcyclist was accused of being an idiot (which he was), etc, etc.

I was simply relieved that I hadn't killed the man or injured him badly, which was a distinct possibility. And as pissed off as I was, I knew exactly why the motorcyclist took a blind turn (and this the motorcyclist admitted later). The road ahead bends to the right and its not possible to see around the corner until you reach the spot from where the motorcyclist took the right, incidentally that is also the last cut in the road and after that you have no option but to head straight on and around the bend. And that's where you will find them, the guardians of peace. They're always there, and they almost always stop motorcyclists. This particular man, a office assistant sent to drop off some documents, had seldom travelled on this road and seeing the cops he panciked and tried to turn to avoid going straight.

Getting back to the aftermath, the group had slowly increased though the people were dissapointed (I'm honestly not joking) once they realised that nobody was fighting, it is at this moment that almost everyone advised the motorcyclist to get out of there and me to call someone to lift the car; they wanted us to clear the area before the cops got there.

Unfortunately, five minutes later the cops (it took the fuckers 10-12 minutes after the accident to travel 200 meters from where they were stationed!) did arrive and started jostling us, shouting around and asking everyone what had happened. A few good Samaritans noticing that we were still a bit shook up stepped up to speak with the cops and told them that the matter had been resolved, the cops insisted that we should go to the police station with them so that the matter could be dealt with 'officially.' Thankfully for us the everyone ganged up on the cops and after a few minutes of convincing they left. Not once did they ask check to see if we needed medical attention, or even ask us if we were okay. The only thing they asked us was if we wished to lodge an F.I.R. against each other, and checked to see if we actually had resolved the matter.

Lastly, as mentioned the accident was caused because of the cops conducting 'checking' up ahead, apparently to make us safer. But in honesty this exercise has no impact on the crime rate. The police sit in the same spot each day, and everyone who wishes to avoid the cops knows not to pass through these specific points. The cops only achievement is that they ruin your day by being exceedingly rude and then getting some cash out of you. The criminals meanwhile take one of the many unmanned access roads and can go about doing their stuff, knowing full we that the cops are too busy guarding VIPs or making money off motorcyclists to bother with stopping crime.

P.S. By the way equally assholic were the people outside of whose my car finally rested and where the motorcyclist and I convened, the residents of the house watched us from the balcony but did offer any help whatsoever. Instead it was the attendant / gardener from a public park from across the house who got us some water and helped us out even after the crowd had dissipated.


tic tac toe said...

On a different note...

Ahsan said...


What do you expect bhai, they're paid less than chowkidars in private houses are and are required to do much more. I'm not saying they're completely blameless but come on man.

Incidentally (and this is based only on hearsay, perhaps other readers can tell us for sure) the Lahore police is better paid, better managed and better organized, and they apparently do a better job.

Naqiya said...

dude. that sucks! good to hear you arent hurt.

the cops in ny arent much better, if that helps. and they'r paid pretty well so that is definitely not it. they are far from helpful, scream if you ask for directions, are always looking to ticket people for jaywalking or drinking etc. in public (small crimes that most wouldnt waste their time with, but these guys get off on it). plus they drive like maniacs. i tend to be more scared of cop cars while crossing the street here vs. cabbies (desi for the most part, also terrible drivers). i dont think i've ever had an interaction with law inforcement in ny that was pleasant, or helpful.

maybe its a cop thing?

Zh. said...

That's Pakistani Police for you.

Serial Kicker said...

@ Ahsan
Beg to differ pal. They are paid less than a chowkidar for a more than one reason. First, they don't work more than a chowkidar does. Second, a chowkidar actually attends to your whims and keeps your house safe. A tulla does the opposite. Third, a chowkidar might think a hundred times before molesting a 3 year old girl. Lets not forget that.

AKS said...


Fair point. They have no incentive to be honest and professional; who would put their ass on the line for mere pittance? I should also have noted that Pakistani cops live dangerous lives, they could just be standing around and bad things could happen to them. Our entire policing system is a sham.

But, while this justifies the cops being corrupt and not doing their jobs, it just doesn't them harassing two people who've just had a big accident. The cops who came to scene were assholes because they lacked basic decency.

And while I don't think Karachi cops are paid less than chowkidars, they certainly are paid less than Lahori cops. The traffic cops in Lahore and the motorway police (all the way from Karachi to Islamabad) are by far the best paid, and as a result the most professional in the land. The disparity between their wages is ludicrous, apparently the starting pay for a traffic cop in Lahore is 25-30 k, which is more than what an SHO makes here (officially)!


Thanks. I'll email asap, been an ass on that front.

Bush. said...

Heh, it reminds of the time when I had taken a rickshaw back from my tuition and on the way home a bunch of traffic policemen with protruding stomachs stopped the rickshaw-wala in order to verify his license. And the driver not once hesitated to reach for his pocket for a hundred bucks and got the matter resolved.

And he just looks at me gawking at the whole incident and says with much indifference.

"Yeh, Pakistan hai. yahan to aye din ye hota rehta hai."

But that's just a workaday story. So much for a suavest law system.

Naqiya said...

@aks: yes, you have been an ass. sahar is in khi, and has instructions to smack you from me when you guys meet, for being terrible at keeping in touch!

Iyeeji said...

...question - had you deided to agree to their so called 'official' resolution what would have happened??