Monday, August 03, 2009

Stupid Is As Stupid Does (Updated Below)

About a month ago, Bubs had a post on a person named Aslam Jinnah, who claimed to be the great-grandson of Pakistan's founder, Mohammad Ali Jinnah. Of course, it turned out to be a scam and much laughter ensued.

Well, I see your fake great-grandson, and raise you a fake associate.


Over in Mumbai, a 29-year old man named Aijaz Mehboob Khan claimed to be an associate of Gandhi. No, not the new ones. The original. The vinyl. Mahatma friggin Gandhi. Again, the dude is 29.

Anyway, after claiming that he was an associate of Gandhi's, he convinced people to give him money because he would invest it soundly in government contracts "for maintaining computers". Laypeople, interpreting Aijaz's close relationship to Gandhi as constituting evidence that this was a good idea, happily obliged and gave him a total of 50 lakh rupees between ten victims.

By the way, you may be wondering how a 29 year-old man managed to convince people that he was an associate of Gandhi's given, um, the age difference. Here's how: he showed people the picture below, and if the picture didn't do the job, the brilliant caption surely did.


In case you can't read the caption, it says "Mumbai: Congress President Mahatma Gandhi and the President of Azad Hind Party Aijaz Khan together in the rally at Mumbai Azad Maidan. And after the rally they went to meet General Bob for discussing about the arrest of Bhagat."

Ok, now for the obvious questions:

1. They were ten victims and 50 lakh rupees proferred (for Westerners, that's about $100,000). That means each victim was certainly not poor, and it probably means that they weren't uneducated. So I guess my question is: what are they teaching in Indian schools? And shouldn't their curricula now include Intro to Photoshop?

2. Um, what the fuck?

3. If you're going to set up a con like this, and insert a picture of yourself standing next to Gandhi despite the fact that you were born three decades after Gandhi died, shouldn't you at least try to make the caption grammatically correct?

4. No, seriously, what the fuck?

5. Are these the same people who respond to the bank account emails from Nigeria? If yes, how do they have money left to invest? If not, what is the difference between the two groups?

(link via India Uncut)

UPDATE: One additional question. Shouldn't residents of Mumbai know that in 1945, their city was called "Bombay"?

UPDATE II: Reader Tan suggested a photoshopping competition with the original image, which I'm reproducing below.


Now, I'm not very good with computer/technological stuff, but here's the best I could come up with:


If you want in on the competition, email me at fiverupeesadminATgooglegroupsDOTcom with your work and I'll put it up if it meets our high standards of photo doctoring. No viruses please, thanks.

UPDATE III: Here's Tan's work. It's a slightly more sophisticated attempt than mine.


Someone should try one with a fake headline like the Times of India thing by our friend Aijaz Mehboob Khan.

Here's an attempt by reader Arataster:


Here's NB's entry:
(Updated by NB): This one is by the Caffeinist. Oddly, I find Pam & Gandhi more unnervingthan Winehouse & Gandhi. With Winehouse, he comes across as as a faith healer at a press conference with a tough patient, whearas with Pam, he looks ecstatic with his score. Also, disturbingly, she's dressed herself up like a ship captain for him.


UPDATE IV: Tan is now just rubbing it in our faces, sending multiple entries to cement his position as King of the Gandhi Photoshop. Here's his second entry:


Here's an entry by reader llamapeople. By the way, I haven't had a haircut in a few months so I don't really look like this anymore.


32 comments:

Rishad said...

And WHO is General Bob?!?

Ahsan said...

General Bob, my friend, refers to Bob Woolmer.

Tan said...

I think we should have a Photoshop competition.

Here's the original picture if you're in.

Vaud said...

Forget general Bob, we've got General Boob.

Anonymous said...

"About a month ago, Bubs had a post "

Sniff :'( Sniff.. I miss Bubs. He was such a nice guy. I miss him so much.

dudelove said...

utter inability of the poor to clothe themselves moved Gandhi to shed his own. this photoshopped image (with general "boob") though reminds me of the comment he made when asked on his england trip if he didn't feel cold when visiting the british king. He said "He (the king) was wearing enough for both of us!". here though he seems to be happy he's wearing enough for the both of general boob and himself.

Tan said...

I have sent this one via email:

captions please

arataster said...

Vote Tan.

Desi Lawyer said...

The Bhagat referred to in the 'headline' - Assuming that it is Mr Bhagat Singh - was he not executed sometime in the 1930s?

haha!!

Desi Lawyer said...

meant 'caption' - my bad

arataster said...

put up mine you nazi!

Ahsan said...

Arataster:

I haven't got anything from you in the old inbox but there could be a glitch. No worries, I found it from your blog.

Bush. said...

Tan definitely!

lala pathan said...

you just ruined PAMELA ANDERSON for me , i use 2 like her alot :((

Ahsan said...

Yeah, unless someone comes in with a good contribution, I'm giving it to Tan too -- the poster of BB did it for me.

Come on, readers. Anyone up for taking on Tan?

Tan said...

The bare-chested Qazi Hussain is the product of a twisted mind!

Here's another I just put together, yeah, i know there's a typo but it's worth it.

(also sent via email)

Tan said...

...ok, two typos but i'm tired....

Tan said...

the perfectionist in me had to get it right

llamapeople said...

Entry sent.

^^

hemlock said...

i'm laughing with tears...
the story was bad enough... with the photo competition thrown in, i'm in stitches.

brilliant stuff (this post only).

hemlock said...

also, as a special request, and because you like her so much, could you please ask tan to do one of gandhi with sarah palin?

Naqiya said...

is it just me or does bilawal look like abbas in that picture? (clearly this is for those of you who have met abbas)

if he does....ew.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry i couldn't appreciate the sense of humor behind this post and the subsequent competition. This blog has Indian readers. Gandhi is revered not only in India as well in World.I thought this blog is different from other Pakistani blogs.

NB said...

@Tan

Man I'm voting for Shoaib and Ghandi, based on the caption alone.

Tan said...

@Hemlock: that's very do-able!

@NB: Thanks!

Tan said...

palin

tic tac toe said...

This post started off okay-ish, but took off in a bizarre direction. What is curious is that everybody is replacing only Jinnah's face with someone else; the joke being that the captions along with the photoshopped image give a good laugh. Two interpretations:

1)Your readers are starved off any opportunity to bring Gandhi down. What better way than to pair him with bigger idiots...

2)Your readers have realized that Jinnah is as useful in this picture as any of the other people who are replacing him.

Ahsan said...

Tic tac toe:

Either that, or our readers are using the same template as the original photoshop. Pity about that chip on your shoulder though...

hemlock said...

thanks for the early morning chuckle Tan... how about this for caption:

2012 presidential candidate Sarah Palin is surprised as Congress President Mahatma Gandhi points Russia out on a map.

Tan said...

@Hemlock: I like it.

@Tic tac toe: As Ahsan points out we're using the template used in the original photoshop. For me it's a bit of a laugh (in a childish way) to do this, I'm not trying to make some hidden political statement about Jinnah or bring down Gandhi. That said, I was thinking of replacing Jinnah's face with that of Benazir and captioning the image something like: "Asif Zardari's efforts to replace portraits of Quaid-e-Azam with those of BB finally goes too far with the release of this image." What do you think?

Laila said...

wow Ahsan best post ever!

@naqiya
you're right I actually thought it was abbbas initially for some weird reason. And then I was like oh wait maybe that's bilawal.

also the Indian readers of this blog seem to be a tad bit sensitive and defensive. Forcing poor Tan (whoever you are Tan you're brilliant and I love you), to apologize for his/her awesome photoshop skills. Yes Gandhi is revered, but if people can make fun of god and Jesus christ, then I really don't see why or how Gandhi should be spared.

Oh yeah and someone needs to do a reverse photo shop with Gandhi replaced. Too bad a) I have no photoshop skills whatsoever to be able to take on that task and b) lately all I ever think about are Cancer and pain medications (though not specifically in that order) so all my creative skills have gone down the drain.

@Ahsan
speaking of making fun of god, I found this on www.textsfromlastnight.com (great website btw), and thought you would appreciate it:

(202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

okay I'm done now. This is possibly the longest comment I've ever left.

Free Balochistan said...

Who was in the original pic with Gandhi? Mohamed friffin Jinnah?