Friday, November 27, 2009

Live Blogging Pakistan Vs New Zealand 1st Test Day 5

11:33 p.m. I'm really angry, because we wasted a lot of good performances. It's one thing when the entire teams plays shit. But we wasted 5 really good days of cricket by four or five guys. And there's no moral victories in coming close here, because I don't see how the next two will be different. Unless we drop Really Fucking Stupid Imran and Fawad actually fulfills his potential at three. It's heart-breaking to be so close to a test victory, but that's what's so beautiful about this version: it keeps you hanging and keeps you hanging, and then cuts you out.

Anyway, that's it from me. If any of the next test's play falls on a weekend, I might liveblog it, but otherwise, this is my last week off in a while, so it's probably not happening again for a while. Hope you enjoyed it, and see you around.

11:31 p.m. And it's all over. What looked like a bump ball was in fact a return catch from Aamer to Vettori. Congrats to the Kiwis. But really, you have to say, the only outfielded us. Our batting was better (they wouldn't have crossed 250 in either innings if we caught our catches). They definitely didn't outbowl us (can you imagine them taking 20 wickets with our fielding?). But their catching was so much better than ours that it rendered our efforts useless. So well done to them.

11:30 p.m. Sigh. Streaming issues.

11:28 p.m. Three off the over and Ajmal survives the one ball Aamer let him face.

11:25 p.m. We've obviously lost this, but let me say this: Asif, Aamer, Umar and Kamran have done nothing to disgrace themselves. Yousuf got a couple starts, but didn't carry on, but at least he looked in decent touch. Gullee played ok too, as did Ajmal. Everyone else other than Really Fucking Stupid Imran did badly. And Really Fucking Stupid Imran reached new levels of suckitude; he could scarcely have done more damage to our prospects if he actually played for NZ and made a hundred for them.

11:25 p.m. Aamer drives a full ball to deep cover for two.

11:24 p.m. O'Brien finally gives way to Martin. He will be bowling to Aamer.

11:23 p.m. More streaming issues.

11:21 p.m. And Asif's gone. Regulation dismissal; a defensive shot gets an edge, and Taylor takes a simple catch at slip. Farhat would've dropped it though. Last man Ajmal in.

11:20 p.m. Aamer's single off Vettori moves us to 213-8. Asif to face Vettori. Uh oh.

11:18 p.m. How long would Asif the batsman last against Asif the bowler? Longer than Walsh the batsman would last against Walsh the bowler, but not by much, let me tell you.

11:18 p.m. Dear streaming gods: if nothing else, let me watch us lose in peace. Many thanks and best regards, Ahsan.

11:16 p.m. Ok, my computer once again acted funny, but in the meantime, Aamer got a four off Vettori. I have no idea how. 211-8.

11:15 p.m. Aamer taps it into the offside for two.

11:14 p.m. Two slips and a short leg, and Vettori goes past a defensive prod from Aamer first up.

11:13 p.m. Vettori from the other end.

11:12 p.m. Goddamn, how is O'Brien still bowling? It's been 75 friggin minutes since tea. Bhai, go take a rest.

11:11 p.m. 205-8 it is then. Still somehow surviving.

11:10 p.m. Still no feed....

11:09 p.m. Well, my computer completely froze and everything shut down. Have we lost yet?

11:01 p.m. The NZ commentators look giddy. Fuckers.

11:00 p.m. Maybe we can play for a draw? 47 runs is obviously beyond us. Where's the rain when you need it?

10:58 p.m. We should be magnanimous here. Bond has bowled superbly, and he's gone full tilt for an hour after tea (and still going). The others have chipped in when needed. They caught their catches, and won the big moments.

10:58 p.m. I'm positively depressed.

10:56 p.m. Asif in.

10:54 p.m. And now Gullee's gone, hitting O'Brien right down the throat of mid-off. Don't know what he was trying to do there. I know it's a tough task, but he should at least pretend to try. No point throwing your wicket away. Sigh. 203-8, 48 away. Last rites time.

10:53 p.m. Stream issues, but frankly I don't care anymore. I'm gutted. Our bowlers and Umar Akmal deserve better. 10 runs each from the top three would've gotten us over the line. Sadly it was not to be.

10:52 p.m. Swing and a miss from Aamer. 199-7. Gullee will face up at the other end.

10:51 p.m. Bond beats Aamer with a ripper, and they all go up. Not out says Doctrove. They think about a review, but decide against it.

10:50 p.m. Aamer gets two to square leg. Pity, this performance. Real pity. So close and yet so far etc.

10:49 p.m. Bond continues to Aamer. By the way, let it be known: you cannot win test matches abroad with 3 batsmen. Can't happen.

10:48 p.m. Ok, Hawkeye shows that it would've hit. But it's a curious process: a bowling side review is subject to projected path displays, but batting side reviews are not. WTF?

10:45 p.m. I really don't understand this review process. Why isn't the projected path subject to review? The umpire is never going to overturn his decision there. I just don't understand...I'm genuinely curious. I mean, that could've been missing leg, and that could've been high. And it's another huge wicket. This is a stupid system. In any event, we're now fucked. Game's over. Gullee in to join Aamer. Still 54 away.

10:44 p.m. Real drama. An LBW appeal is upheld by Taufel. Kamran wants a review. Looks like it might be hitting leg. And it's given.

10:43 p.m. Easy, Kamran, easy. Tries to late cut one that dips in.

10:42 p.m. Kamran drives O'Brien to cover for two. How many overs can Bond have left? If there hadn't been a wicket there, I'm sure he would've finished. But now he'll probably get some more adrenaline and get through a couple more.

10:40 p.m. What a huge wicket. I would've trusted Umar to bat with the tail and get us through. Kamran? Not so much. Still 56 away. That looks a long, long way right now.

10:38 p.m. Gone! Bond gets Umar Akmal, at a crucial time! A slowish delivery, and Umar knocks it right back to him. As simple a catch as you'll get as a bowler. Umar goes for 75, and now NZ have to be favorites. Aamer in.

10:37 p.m. A single to deep cover. Umar back on strike.

10:36 p.m. Bond continuing to Kamran. How am I supposed to act polite while typing furiously and watching this finish? Something has to give. I think it will be the "politeness" bit.

10:35 p.m. Anyway, it's a maiden from O'Brien. Still 57 needed.

10:34 p.m. Well, the guest the W and I were expecting is now here. This will be very tricky, she's a relative of the W's.

10:33 p.m. A slight lull here, after that flurry immediately after tea. Don't mind that. Just steady now.

10:32 p.m. Umar still looks solid as a rock. This has been an Inziesque innings, it really has.

10:31 p.m. Safely played to slip, trying to guide it down to third man. Just seven more to get to that target of 50. Come on guys.

10:30 p.m. Play and miss outside off. One more ball this over. Steady, Kamran. Steady.

10:30 p.m. A sharp rising delivery, but Kamran lets it go.

10:29 p.m. Drifting into Umar's pads. Works the single to midwicket. 57 more. The NZ guys doing everything they can to jinx us, but there's nothing we can do about that.

10:28 p.m. Bond continuing. I say he has three overs, including this one, left in him. That's 17 balls guys. No wickets off those 17.

10:26 p.m. Uff, after setting off for a two, the brothers decide it's only one to fine leg. Nice, clear calling from big brother there. Anyway, we're 193-5. 58 more.

10:25 p.m. Incidentally, we're below that 60 target I laid out: it's now at 59. Alright guys, nine more. Get to 50.

10:23 p.m. Bang. Umar smacks O'Brien right back to him, he tries to catch it, dislocates his finger, and it goes for two down the ground. The physio tries to snap it back in, but it's on his bowling hand. I wonder if he'll continue. Looks like he is.

10:22 p.m. And now a single. Good over, with five singles coming off it. Keeping Bond out is so crucial.

10:21 p.m. Some drama here, as Umar misses a pull down the leg side, and the NZ fielders go up for a caught behind. Doctrove says no, and they mull referring it. Decide against it, and wisely so, because he was nowhere near it.

10:20 p.m. Kamran works it to third man for one. Four singles in this over. Tick, tock. 62 more.

10:19 p.m. Another single to Umar, as he taps it to mid on and sprints down. Great running.

10:18 p.m. A single to deep square. As the commentators mention, Bond is keeping it really full looking for reverse. He's obviously going for wickets, but it does mean it's easier to score. And now another single for Kamran. Steady now. Steady.

10:17 p.m. Bond to continue to Umar.

10:17 p.m. Great cricket. An inswinging yorker from O'Brien, but Kamran digs it out.

10:16 p.m. Another boundary through the cordon, though this time it's deliberate. Smart cricket without a third man there. 66 more.

10:15 p.m. A single to square leg for Umar. Kamran on strike.

10:14 p.m. And now O'Brien beats Umar outside off. Nervous times here, that's for sure.

10:13 p.m. Ah, Kamran, chill. He lofts Bond for four over mid off, but that was really dangerous. It really wasn't drivable length. 71 more. Remember, we need to get to 60.

10:12 p.m. Vettori drops a sweeper back, and Kamran drives him again for two. We've reached that mini target: 75 more. So now let's get it to 60.

10:12 p.m. Well, fourth time's the charm. Kamran finally gets a drive through the covers. Four more. 77 more.

10:11 p.m. Kamran finally connects, but not well, and straight to the fielder. Just survive this guy's spell, kids. You do that, and we have a chance.

10:11 p.m. And again, this time with Kamran trying to be more expansive outside off. Chill, Kamran. Chill.

10:10 p.m. Oyhee. Bond beats Kamran outside off, with one that just holds its line. Great bowling from Bond.

10:08 p.m. Three from the over then. 81 needed. Like I said, get it to 75. We'll take it from there.

10:08 p.m. Slower ball from O'Brien, but Umar just caught himself before launching it. No run.

10:07 p.m. Another confident stroke, but this time it evades mid-off. He gets three for his troubles.

10:05 p.m. Solidly and confidently forward from Kamran. No run though.

10:04 p.m. After a long discussion between McMillan and Richardson on who -- Vettori or Martin -- should bowl from the other end, it is, of course, O'Brien.

10:03 p.m. Kamran gets a single to midwicket, miscuing a drive. Some reverse there for Bond. This could get reaaallll interesting. And that's the over. 84 more. Baby steps guys. Let's get this to 75 required.

10:02 p.m. You've got to love test cricket. You really do. All three results still possible. It all hinges on one partnership. Right here.

10:02 p.m. A yorker is tapped to mid-on for a quick single. My heart is starting to beat a helluva lot faster.

10:02 p.m. Nothing silly now, Umar.

10:00 p.m. Safely driven for no run to mid off.

10:00 p.m. Bond to open the attack. Umar to face. Key battle here.

9:59 p.m. You've got to give Ten Sports credit, with believing the whole "pro wrestling is a 'sport' worth showing to an adult audience on an international sports network" thing. I mean, talk about having the courage of your convictions.

9:39 p.m. On replay, it's clear that Judas could have helped himself in a way that Yousuf couldn't have. Yousuf's was much harder to play, and it was at his throat. With Judas, it was closer to his nose, making it easier to leave. But he tried to rise with it, and then caught half way between prodding it down, and leaving it. Anyway, that's tea then. Under normal circumstances, I would have said the session was evenly shared (more than a hundred runs, two specialist batsmen gone), but because we had such a shit start, you have to give it slightly to NZ. It's now up to the Akmal brothers, in what promises to be an extremely tight finish. See you in 20 minutes.

9:38 p.m. Haha what a shot. Man, Kamran's got balls of steel. First ball is driven through the covers for four. Just get to tea, kids.

9:36 p.m. Gone! A carbon copy of the Yousuf dismissal, but this time it's O'Brien to Judas. A short, rising delivery, gets Judas' glove, and he's gone for 32. As with Yousuf, it was a decent innings but he needed to do more. NZ firmly back in front now, 161-5. Kamran in, to join baby bro.

9:33 p.m. Rubbish from Vettori, bowling short and wide outside off from over the wicket. Since it's a predominantly legside field, you just have to get it past the inner ring for it to be a boundary. And Umar's good enough to do so. 161-4. 90 more.

9:31 p.m. And now a two to midwicket from Judas. 94 more. 10 minutes to tea. If these guys -- touch wood -- can get to tea, it would have been our session.

9:29 p.m. Am I correct when I say Bond has only bowled five overs in this session?

9:28 p.m. Ufff. Heart in throat stuff here. Umar nicks O'Brien, it goes at a catchable height, but there's no one at third slip, going between the slip and the gully. He might be getting a touch tired here, Umar. Mentally more than anything else. He's been out there in the middle for about 75% of this test, methinks.

9:27 p.m. Judas with an emphatic reply, dancing down and smacking Vettori for six over long on. The target is now under a hundred: 97 more.

9:27 p.m. Ooooh. Judas almost chops Vettori on. He really looped that one, Vettori. Great bowling.

9:25 p.m. That's the over, negotiated safely enough. 147-4.

9:23 p.m. 104 more.

9:22 p.m. Well, if there was a "streaky fours through the cordon to third man" event at the Olympics, Judas would win gold easily. There's another. Brings up the 50 partnership.

9:21 p.m. Poor Waqar. He wants to run away from this discussion on Dilmah's mint tea faster than Usain Bolt.

9:20 p.m. Vettori replaces Elliot. Well, here's a sign Vettori is worried: he's now coming over the wicket into the rough against Umar. Anyway, we've moved on to 143-4.

9:19 p.m. Goddamnitt. Streaming issues again. Please stand by.

9:16 p.m. Judas gets another streaky four, through the gully region off O'Brien. Another good over for us, with five coming off it. 141-4. 110 more.

9:14 p.m. Just get to tea, kids. Get to tea, and we'll reassess.

9:12 p.m. O'Brien replaces the hardworking Martin.

9:11 p.m. Four more byes. Don't expect McCullum to be especially nice to Elliot after this match, one way or the other. Shocking delivery down the leg side. 136-4, 115 more.

9:10 p.m. Elliot to continue. Umar gets a single, bringing Judas on to strike. Tick, tock.

9:07 p.m. That's Judas' best shot of the match. Drives a decent ball from Martin ramrod straight, and it goes for four. 131-4. Keep it steady, guys. Keep it steady.

9:07 p.m. Off-topic comment: 300 is the strangest movie of all time when the sound is muted.

9:06 p.m. Judas edges it down to third man, all along the ground. Four more. We'll take 'em any way they come, as they say.

9:04 p.m. Martin continuing. He's bowled a good spell here, Martin. Other than Bond, he's easily been NZ's best bowler in this test.

9:02 p.m. Drama here. Judas gets a single, and next ball is sliding down the leg side. McCullum has trouble gathering it, hurts his finger, and what's more, it goes for four byes. All things considered, that's a good over for us. Six from it. 123-4.

9:01 p.m. Fuck. Judas hits it straight back to Elliot, and a chance goes down. Always difficult in your follow through, but you have to take those (unless you're Pakistani). Wow. What a chance to put the game to bed.

9:00 p.m. Elliot joins a long line of NZ dibbly dobbly medium pacers -- including Lathan, Astle, Larsen and god knows who else. Umar works him for one through the off side.

8:59 a.m. Quiet over from Martin to Judas. Elliot (?) into the attack. Nothing stupid now, Umar.

8:55 p.m. With that last boundary, Malik became the third batsmen in this innings to cross 4. Kudos.

8:53 p.m. Four to Malik with a sweep. "Bit of a mow" says Martin Crowe. 7 from the over though. Vettori -- again, I don't want to jinx anything -- has looked strangely ineffective in this test. His field placings have been very curious, to say the least. But, as an ode to the jinxing gods, let me say he's the best left arm spinner in the world and a truly awesome all-round cricketer. Genius. Best ever. Legend.

8:52 p.m. Umar paddles Vettori for two down to fine leg, and then gets a single to long off. 112-4.

8:50 p.m. Jeez. The best I can say about Judas' batting right now is that somehow, some way, he is still there. But he really is trying to not be.

8:48 p.m. 108-4 by the way. If these guys get to tea, I'll be a touch more relaxed. Of course, asking Judas to last an hour outside Asia is really asking too much.

8:46 p.m. As Umar reaches his fifty, the commentators try their best to jinx him by talking about a hundred in each innings of a debut. Nice going guys. Really transparent.

8:42 p.m. And that's drinks. NZ's hour, simply by virtue of picking up Yousuf. We're scoring a little bit more briskly, but at the rate at which we're losing wickets, it may not matter. 105-4.

8:40 p.m. Ian Smith, please shut up. Almost jinxes Umar. That was Rameez-esque from Smitty.

8:38 p.m. Aha. Umar pushes Martin off the back foot through point for four. What a guy. He's moved on to 48, the only guy other than Yousuf to make more than 4.

8:37 p.m. Steady over from Vettori, bowling a maiden to Judas. We stay at 100-4.

8:34 p.m. Nice shot from Umar, working it off his hips for two. Hundred up.

8:32 p.m. Umar would do well to keep Malik away from the strike against the quick bowling.

8:31 p.m. And another. Three off, and it's 98-4.

8:30 p.m. Anyway, Vettori continuing to Umar and Malik. Couple singles in the over so far.

8:28 p.m. I feel really bad for Umar, who's having to literally carry us in his first bloody test. Normally when young guys break into the team, they're allowed to work themselves into test cricket, and the older guys pick up the slack. Normally.

8:27 p.m. And now cut in half by Martin. I mean, it's good bowling to be sure. But Malik is just nowhere at the moment. Him and Farhat have been completely useless. At least Khurram got a runout, and Fawad made a 30 odd in the first innings.

8:26 p.m. Let Ian Smith tell it: "Looks all at sea, Shoaib Malik." Yup. Don't know what shot he was playing there. Can you play a cut without moving either of your feet to a ball three feet wide of off stump? If yes, that was a cut.

8:25 p.m. 95-4. Come on guys. Steady now.

8:23 p.m. Gone! Martin gets Yousuf with a ripper! HUGE wicket! A short ball at the throat, Yousuf couldn't get out of the way, it touches his glove through to the keeper. What a blow that is, just as the partnership was gathering some momentum. It was worth 71, and Yousuf made 40-odd. Nice little innings, but frankly, we needed more. Judas in.

8:22 p.m. Very nice from Umar, just tapping it to mid on and taking off. Excellent running. More positive now than he was before lunch, that's for sure.

8:22 p.m. Simon Doull on Martin: "He's got to put it in." What?

8:21 p.m. Double change then. Martin replaces O'Brien.

8:21 p.m. 94-3.

8:19 p.m. Well, thank goodness my stream came back before that shot. Umar just smacks Vettori over midwicket for six, down on one knee at all. Next ball is nicely late cut for two. Followed by a single down the ground. Full range of shots displayed here.

8:18 p.m. Ok, it's 85-3. Vettori is into the attack. This stream unreliability issue really needs to fix itself.

8:15 p.m. Arrrghh. My stream is having all sorts of issues now. This is very pissing off. Hold on.

8:13 p.m. Dear Umar Akmal: You are very good. But please put away your pull shot on this pitch. At least while Bond is bowling. Many thanks and best regards, Ahsan.

8:12 p.m. Ok, something clearly happened in that over, because we're suddenly 80-3. Whatever it was, kudos.

8:10 p.m. Stream acting up again. WTF.

8:08 p.m. We can turn my earlier point about offense-defense on its head. I mentioned that if we play too conservatively, we risk giving Vettori the luxury of bringing attacking fielders from every which way. Conversely, if we up the tempo even slightly, it makes our chances of getting at least a draw that much greater. 72-3 then, with both guys looking a touch more settled (touch wood).

8:07 p.m. And next ball tries to slash him behind point. Good fielding. Yousuf tells him to chill.

8:07 p.m. Bang. Umar just picks Bond over his head for four off a full ball. Four more.

8:06 p.m. Martin Crowe makes a good point about treating this chase as a spell-by-spell thing. See off Bond, and see what happens.

8:05 p.m. The thing that's really impressed me about Umar in this innings -- Lord, let this not be a jinx -- is that he has shown he can play a different type of innings. Very heady player. Most young guys can play one way; it takes experience for the versatility to creep into your game. Not with this guy. He's 19 going on 30.

8:02 p.m. This partnership has moved on to 43. Need about a 150 more from these two. Seriously, anything less, and we've lost.

8:01 p.m. 66-3 in 31 overs then.

7:59 p.m. Hold on, my stream just died. Both of em. Gimme a couple.

7:57 p.m. And now one staying low from Bond to Yousuf. Scary times for Pakistan here.

7:57 p.m. Replays showed that just dropped short of third slip. Still dangerous, obviously.

7:56 p.m. Streaky from Umar, as he looks to drive O'Brien through the covers, gets an edge, and it flies through the cordon for four. Third slip got a hand to it. Phew. 63-3.

7:55 p.m. Beauty. Nothing you can do about those. Umar beaten all ends up by one that just leaves him. Well bowled O'Brien. Him and Martin have done much better in this innings than the first.

7:54 p.m. Careful, careful. Don't want a run-out here, kids.

7:53 p.m. Nice shot. Umar works O'Brien through mid-on, without getting all of it. Goes for four, and that's his first boundary.

7:52 p.m. Two off Bond's over. 55-3.

7:51 p.m. First runs after lunch, a single to Yousuf to mid on, and a single to deep cover to Umar.

7:49 p.m. So two maiden to start. I'll say this: if we keep playing at this pace for another half an hour or 45 minutes, we can kiss winning this game goodbye. This is important because the threat of us being able to win is crucial in being able to avoid a loss -- the moment Vettori senses that we can no longer win, he's going to bring in attacking fielders, and make it really hard for us to survive. We need to keep them honest here.

7:48 p.m. Nah nah Umar. Bad shot. Tries to hit one through the off-side when it wasn't there. Nearly gives Waqar a heart attack.

7:47 p.m. An ambitious appeal for LBW, as Umar tries to flick a full one through the leg side, and gets hit on the pad. Sliding down the leg-side, no problems. NZ have started well though after lunch. Nothing loose.

7:46 p.m. Keeps low, but Umar is up to it, keeping his eyes on it till the last moment.

7:45 p.m. Great bowling from Bond, really mixing it up in that over. Maiden over right after lunch then. O'Brien will bowl from the other end, to Umar.

7:43 p.m. Solidly forward from Yousuf. Great contest, this.

7:42 p.m. Uff. A pacy bouncer, aimed at Yousuf's body. He does well to sway out of the way, right after lunch.

7:42 p.m. Safe enough, just hit into the off side.

7:41 p.m. Alright, here we go. Bond to Yousuf.

7:39 p.m. And we're back. Pakistan need 198 in 65 overs. NZ need 7 wickets in 65 overs. Umar and Yousuf at the crease, with a slow-but-steady partnership of 29.

7:03 p.m. Solid enough from Umar. We end up at 53-3, with 198 more needed. NZ's session by far, though Umar and Yousuf look solid. They'll have to build again post-lunch, and frankly, I think they'll be happy with a draw from here. See you in 40 minutes.

7:01 p.m. Umar flicks Vettori for two through midwicket. The field is now up.

7:00 p.m. Solid as a rock from Yousuf. He's really tightened up after that initial flurry. Last over before lunch then.

6:57 p.m. Ooh. Umar drives Martin hard to mid-off, a slight fumble, sets off, and Vettori goes at the stumps. I think he would've been home had it hit, but there's no need for that three minutes before lunch.

6:55 p.m. Dear Mohd Yousuf: Please don't go back to a full ball from Vettori. You will be LBW soon. Thanks and best regards, Ahsan. 50-3 by the way.

6:54 p.m. Three singles off three balls in this over. That's what that field placing will do to you.

6:53 p.m. The NZ commentators are tearing their hair out at the fact that Vettori has five guys on the boundary to both Yousuf and Umar. Again, completely understandable.

6:51 p.m. Beautifully played by Yousuf. There's four guys in the off-side ring, and he gets it through with a languid cover drive off one that wasn't even that full. What a guy. First boundary in a long, long time. 47-3.

6:51 p.m. Umar finally gets to double figures, by working a Martin no-ball behind square for one. Took him about an hour I think.

6:49 p.m. Nice shape for Martin, who's bowled well.

6:47 p.m. Exhale. Yousuf gets beaten by Vettori. The world's best left arm spinner bowling to the world's worst player of left-arm spin is not a battle I'm especially enamored with.

6:46 p.m. Yousuf paddles Vettori for two. The NZ commentators are pissed off that he has both mid on and mid off back. I would be too.

6:44 p.m. Umar looks very solid and compact in defense. It's good to see a young Pakistani batsman just be able to shut up shop for a while. Anyway, Vettori in to the attack.

6:41 p.m. Bond's figures, by the way, are 8-3-11-2. Wonder if he'll come back for a sharp burst just before lunch. Vettori still hasn't bowled by the way; in fact, these two (O'Brien and Martin) have been plugging away for quite a while now.

6:40 p.m. Safe. Gets a single to mid off to finish the over.

6:39 p.m. Uh oh. Change of bat for Umar. Let's hope this isn't Saeed Anwar circa 1999.

6:38 p.m. The first non-defensive shot from Umar in a while, but good fielding in the covers means it's no run. Frustrating.

6:36 p.m. Another maiden. 38-3.

6:35 p.m. I wonder if these guys have given up hope of winning this game, and instead are content on drawing it. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here.

6:29 p.m. Oooh. O'Brien bowling well, beating Umar outside. I fear we're getting stuck here. I'm not saying try and play aggressively, but these guys aren't even really looking for singles, which is allowing their bowlers to get 5 or 6 balls an over at one guy. A single is both an offensive weapon (it gets you runs) and defensive weapon (makes it harder for the bowler to get a wicket). Amongst Pakistani batsmen of this era, only Younis understand that truth, and he's not here. Miandad was probably the best exponent of that logic in days gone by.

6:25 p.m. Aargh, half volley from Martin to Yousuf is wasted. Dot to mid off. We've crawled to 36-3 in 17 overs.

6:19 p.m. NZ keeping things very tight here. Not only have the boundaries dried up, but singles and twos are also pretty much off the table. A holding period here. Can we get through it?

6:17 p.m. Dangerous, dangerous. Umar looks to drive, and gets it through the gully region. Just a single. 34-3.

6:14 p.m. Someone get Martin Crowe a sock. He's talking about Umar Akmal in gushing tones, and if carries on this way, Waqar is going to need to go the bathroom to clean up.

6:12 p.m. Oooh. O'Brien gets one to stay low at Umar. I tell you what, if we get to 251, it would have been some achievement on this pitch, given how crap our batting is.

6:07 p.m. And now Umar edges Bond, but it falls short. Goddamn, Bond can bowl. He can really, really bowl. Him and Yousuf are tied for the "of all the people who went to the ICL, we deprived the world of international cricket the most by being deemed ineligible to play for our national teams by the draconian BCCI" award. Anyway, it's drinks.

6:07 p.m. Bond zeroing in on Yousuf's pads here, and Yousuf keep trying to work him through the legside. He misses one, and he's a goner.

6:05 p.m. And Umar off the mark, with a push through the covers for one.

6:04 p.m. 28-3. Shambolic batting, really.

6:02 p.m. After a "he really wasn't playing a shot but pretended to, and so isn't LBW" LBW shout, Yousuf flicks O'Brien for four behind square leg.

6:00 p.m. Wicket maiden for Bond. 24-3. And this is before Vettori has had his shot at Yousuf, perhaps the worst player in the world of left arm spin. Good times.

5:58 p.m. The next one goes flying over Umar's shoulder. What a bouncer. Bond cranking it up here.

5:58 p.m. Solidly behind it first up.

5:56 p.m. Gone! Bond cramps Fawad coming over the wicket, gets him jumping, and it loops up to a strangely-positioned guy -- best description is silly-mid wicket. 24-3, and it's yet another Pakistani collapse. Man, we miss Younis. We really, really miss Younis. Anyway, Umar Akmal in.

5:54 p.m. Oooooh. Fawad tries to cut the next one, edges it, but gets to first slip just on the bounce. I have to say, I have abandoned all hope of winning this game. I foresee a 100-all out type innings here.

5:52 p.m. Beats Fawad outside off. Close. Very close. Doesn't need to be playing that, Fawad.

5:50 p.m O'Brien replaces Martin, whose last over went for 14.

5:49 p.m. Ooh. Some pace and bite there. Safe enough though from Yousuf, and we're 23-2.

5:49 p.m. Bond to Yousuf. Key battle here.

5:48 p.m. Fawad works Bond through square for a single. Just keep it ticking, kid.

5:47 p.m. Ooooh. Fawad gets caught there, halfway between a defensive shot and a push. It holds up on the pitch, and so almost carries back to Bond for another caught and bold. Heart stopping moment there.

5:45 p.m. Calm down Yousuf. Martin drops it short, Yousuf uncharacteristically tries to hook it, it gets an edge, and it flies down to fine leg for six. It's runs, but it's risky. He has to bat us until we get to 200 at least. Come on Yousuf. Play an Inzi innings here. Calm and cool and efficient.

5:44 p.m. And now through the covers. Just lent into that. God, I hope he doesn't get carried away here. We need to win this in 75-80 overs, not 60 overs. I hope Yousuf knows that.

5:43 p.m. A figure you might be interested in: the difference between Yousuf's overall average and his second innings average is minus 14. Younis', by the way, is minus 3. Take from that what you will.

5:42 p.m. Aha. Yousuf interrupts the inane banter amongst Ian Smith and Simon Doull with a delightful drive down the ground for four. Just tapped that through the line.

5:38 p.m. The final tally for Farhat: less than 30 runs in two innings, 4 dropped catches, and one wasted referral. Thanks, Mohammad Ilyas! You're the best.

5:37 p.m. Fawad plays Bond through midwicket for two. This is the partnership kids. Unless they put at least a hundred on, we're fucked.

5:35 p.m. Hahaha. Another one. Martin comes round the wicket, Farhat nicks it, it goes to second slip, and another excellent catch in the cordon. That's been the difference: they get edges, and it's a wicket. We get edges, and it really is a lottery. Anyway, when I said I expected 35 runs from the sextet of Khurram, Farhat, Malik, Gullee, Asif, and Ajmal, I might've overshot by about 20. We're 6-2, and in all sorts of trouble. Yousuf in.

5:34 p.m. I hate how everyone -- including Waqar -- is lumping the "top three" together in some sort of shit batting basket. Really Fucking Stupid Imran and Khurram are bad players. Fawad is a good player who got an unplayable delivery -- really the only one in our first innings. There's a distinction there.

5:33 p.m. And off the mark straight away, tucking it behind square for one.

5:32 p.m. Pheewff, I'm still getting over that catch. That was awesome. Anyway, Really Fucking Stupid Imran just got off the mark with a single. Fawad to face up to Martin.

5:29 p.m. Gone! What a catch! Khurram nicks the next one from Bond, it goes really low and really quick to McCullum, who gets it falling to his right. That would have never gotten to slip. Most keepers wouldn't have even sniffed that. Outstanding stuff from NZ, whose fielding and catching has put us to shame in this test. Well, they've got their breakthrough. 4-1, with Fawad in.

5:28 p.m. First runs. Bond gets the outside half of Khurram's bat, who to his credit, played it with soft hands. Goes all along the ground through the cordon for four.

5:27 p.m. God, Khurram looks terrible on the back foot. Ugh.

5:23 p.m. Poor old Waqar really holding up the fort here. The NZ commentators are trying to diagnose what happened in that third innings -- they're blaming poor shot selection and a lack of mental toughness. "Pakistan bowling really fucking well" is, apparently, not a sound enough reason. Until Waqar pointed it out to them, that is. Anyway, another maiden. 0-0 after four.

5:20 p.m. And another maiden. I don't really mind this, to be honest. If we see Bond's first spell off without too much damage, I'll be more confident. The ball's not really moving much from his end. Let's see.

5:16 p.m. Good over, two gone. Still not off the mark, Pakistan.

5:15 p.m. Oooh. Martin gets one to rise, and Really Fucking Stupid Imran had no idea. It could have ballooned anywhere, but it fell safely to the short leg region.

5:13 p.m. Hahahaha. A lazy waft outside off first up. God, he's really fucking stupid.

5:12 p.m. Martin to bowl to Really Fucking Stupid Imran at the other end.

5:12 p.m. Three or fewer I meant.

5:11 p.m. Safe enough, with a bunch of leaves outside off. Here's my prediction for the day: if we restrict Bond to fewer than three wickets, we will win.

5:09 p.m. A bit of awkward backfoot defensive shot first up, followed by a leave outside off for the second. Khurram, it is safe to say, needs to work on his technique. He looks seriously cramped every time he tries to play defensively on the back-foot, and moreover, tends to do so with an angled bat. I really, really hope he's not our opener on the OZ tour.

5:07 p.m. Alright, we're about ready to get underway here. Win or lose, you've got to love our pace bowlers. Nine wickets between them for not many. Anyway, here we go. Khurram and Really Fucking Stupid Imran to open. Bond to start.

5:00 p.m. Gone! Elliot gloves Gullee down the leg side to Akmal, who pouches it safely. So that's it then. A nice quick clean-up job the morning. Pakistan will need 251 runs to win their first test in something like a gazillion years. There's five guys that will be key: Fawad, Yousuf, Umar, Kamran and Aamer. I'm expecting no more than 35 runs between the other six.

4:58 p.m, NZ's lead has crept up to 250, by the way. Important little milestone there.

4:57 p.m. "Just one of those guys that...cannot bat," says McMillan. Gets off the mark though. Damnitt.

4:56 p.m. Alright, here we go. Elliot pushes Gullee into the leg side off his hips, looking for two, but they get only one. Martin to face. "Oh dear," says Craig McMillan.

4:54 p.m. Oh for fuck's sake. Elliot steals a single off the last ball of Asif's over, by just tapping it to mid-on and setting off. Come on guys. Is it really a mystery what he's going to do there? Come up a yard or two.

4:53 p.m. Asif beats Elliot all ends up, with one that jags back. Ridiculous movement.

4:50 p.m. Just reward for Gullee there. He's bowled really well this whole test without too much reward. Anyway, Martin in -- who incidentally who has batted against us six times and has six ducks. He has an overall average of lower than three. I'm going to go out on a limb and say Elliot is going to look to farm the strike here.

4:49 p.m. Confirmation that it's out. Nine down. NZ's lead at 247.

4:47 p.m. Haha, got 'em! Gullee follows three short balls with a full, fast one, and it hits him on the ankle in front of middle. Plumb in front, Taufel gives it, and O'Brien asks for a review, more from desperation than anything else. That's out. It has to be.

4:46 p.m. Gullee smacks O'Brien in the grill with another bouncer. And follows it up with two more. Don't lose the plot here, Gullee. Tailenders look pretty ungainly against short bowling but don't often get out to it. Keep it full, and you'll get him.

4:43 p.m. The important thing in the immediate term is to not get too impatient if we don't get wickets immediately. Just because they're eight down doesn't mean they're going to fold straight away, and expecting so will have damaging consequences. Just keep bowling in the right areas, don't tinker with the field too much, and try to keep the pressure on. Don't panic. I have a feeling I'm going to be repeating the "don't panic" line a few times today.

4:41 p.m. Bloody hell. Now he gets it to jag back in, and O'Brien leaves it, thinking it will leave him. Beautiful bowling.

4:39 p.m. Goddamnitt. Elliot nicks Asif, but it doesn't carry to Kamran. Well, better that than it carrying to Farhat for him to drop it.

4:38 p.m. Anything above 275 and we can forget it. Just letting you know right now.

4:36 p.m. Hahaha. Gullee bowls a short one that passes harmlessly by O'Brien (the tailender), and somebody yells "Ah ah ah ah...PACE boy PACE". Jokers.

4:33 p.m. Well, well, well. What have we here? It appears that this is going to be one of those brilliant fifth days of a test -- where all three results are possible, nobody knows anything, and people's nails are going to be chewed like Wrigleys. What an advertisement for test cricket. The situation, as it stands, is that NZ are 245 ahead with two wickets remaining. Elliot and O'Brien are batting against Asif and Gullee.

Hello and welcome to Rs.5's coverage of the fifth and final day of the first test between Pakistan and New Zealand. As always, all times are local (i.e. Chicago).


Omar said...

The batting is pretty sad really,slow and steady will cost us the game.

Amyn said...

hahaha...waqar just called o'brien 'more of a banger.' legend

karachi khatmal said...

i wasn't buying it earlier but these commentators are really going for the jinx gods now...

"its a quite period of play, which means something is LOOMING"


Farooq said...

Man I really hate Grant Elliot. Ever since he scored that gayass half century of like 200 balls to knock us out of the champions trophy ive hated him. He's one of those nothing, no-talent players who NOBODY will remember a day after they retire and whose funeral will be attended by his wife unless the guy she was cheating on him with doesn't let her.

By the way, NZ commentators full trying to jinx us. "Malik looking good", "Malik has settled", "we're halfway there".

Farooq said...

Yaar Khatmal,

I don't think THAT particular comment counts as a "jinx" at least in the way I interpret them. If they say something to the effect of "NOTHING is looming" or "Batsmen DONT look like getting out", then that would classify as a jinx.

You know: Nazar laga na.

Im quite happy with them predicting doom and gloom for US.

karachi khatmal said...

the axiom for eight test playing nations: catches win matches

the axiom for pakistan: you've gotta win matches despite the catches

fair point :)

Farooq said...

Man, how great would it be to have the calm head of Faisal Iqbal coming in next. Spin specialst.

Farooq said...

Hahah! Waqar bitch slaps Yasir Hameed's accomplishments. Basically Akmal is special while Hameed, despite twin centuries on debut, is just faarigh.

Mother of Ahsan Butt said...

Ahsan bete, Eid ki namaz parhna nahi bhoolna. Jaan mere.

karachi khatmal said...

"Well, if there was a "streaky fours through the cordon to third man" event at the Olympics, Judas would win gold easily."

hahaha, great stuff ahsan...

btw can anyone think of a decent pakistani test top order? since we've never had a decent no.3 other than MYK, i can't even think of one during the sohail-saeed anwar days... any takers?

Farooq said...

I hate Shoaib Malik for what he did to YK but that is an AWESOME response after almost playing the bowler on to his stumps.

Farooq said...


Farooq said...

Decent test top order? Hmmm. When we had the holy trinity of Inzy, YK and Yousuf together our openers sucked ass.

With Anwar and Sohail, our middle order was OKAY. Ijaz, Malik and Inzy right? You know, id take that.

FUCK MADARRCHOD MALIK yaar. We could have gone into the tea break only 4 wickets down.

karachi khatmal said...


i guess this counts as jinx?

from cricinfo


O'Brien to Shoaib Malik, no run, short ball on the middle and leg. Malik ducks under it. McCullum dives to his left to collect the ball

Going by the body language it looks like New Zealand have given up


O'Brien to Shoaib Malik, OUT, oh! they haven't yet! Bowls one short on the off stump and gets it to move back in. Malik is surprised by the bounce and feebly top-edges it to McCullum. Well they are coming back into it

Shoaib Malik c †McCullum b O'Brien 32 (59b 5x4 1x6) SR: 54.23

Farooq said...

Case in point sir.

karachi khatmal said...

i love how the referrals are forcing players to be honest - see how mccullum when put on the spot was kinda like nah there was nothing in it...

karachi khatmal said...


whattan absolutely desi time for the guest to decide to show up

fifth day, final session, nerve wracking chase led by a glorious youngster in his debut test... you can feel the history

and then your in-laws show up. classic. couldn't have scripted this better :)

Indophile said...

O Brien, the blogger/bowler is a very effective bowler to tail, if Martin is back then there is a better chance for Pakistan now.

Indophile said...

6602 people on crowd, massive turnout by Kiwi standards

Zubair Sheikh said...

after three years i was thinking today we will pull the game in the same fashion as we did the last time we win a test against SA in '06. But i didn't know our that our shitty top order still doesn't want to win a test. And let me say this: Fuck you Imran Farhat!

karachi khatmal said...

man of the match: shane bond

comback of the match: shane bond and mohammad asif

wasim bhai's successor: mohammed aamer

inzi's successor: umar akmal

perpetrator of war crimes and crimes against humanity: imran farhat

Rabia said...

I guess we are all united in our hate for Imran Farhat. He should be the next president!

Nabeel said...

imran farhat was probably trying to stick it to someone (probably yousuf) showing how good he is at being shit and STILL getting selected...

Judas is Judas...whatta fuckbag. I defended him when he was captain. He's rotten after a decade in Pakistan cricket!

man of the match VETTORI,man...we handed shane bond a few wickets for free,and our batsmen are shit enough to have collapsed against kyle mills or jacob oram or scotty styris too.Vettori killed our first-innings bowling effort and wrapped up the fight at the end.

declaring successors is slightly premature,no? i'm guess i've lost hope in young pakistani sensations.

right side of the river said...

Ahsan, re: the review system, the reason it's a bit confusing is that we're not being shown everything that the third umpire sees. if they don't show us Hawkeye's projected path of the ball hitting the stumps it doesn't mean the third umpire didn't get to see it.

the other thing, the way they have it set up is that the umpire gets the benefit of the doubt. so if the umpire's said OUT for an lbw, and the batsman asks for a review, then the ball has to be completely missing the stumps for the decision to be overturned. but if the ump has said NOT OUT and the bowler asks for a review, then a significant portion of the ball has to hit the stumps for it be called out. those 'barely hitting the outer half of leg stump' projections won't cut it.

tough loss. nz commentators can suck a rotten egg.

here's a funny video though:

right side of the river said...

bah.. wrong youtube link.. this is what i wanted to paste:

Wannabe imran said...

Dear God,
This year you took - My Favourite singer - Michael Jackson.
Favourite actress - Farah Fawcett. Favourite actor - Patrick Swayze. U know everything, still I Just want to remind you that IMRAN FARHAT is still my favourite cricket.

nah, just kidding :P