Friday, November 13, 2009

Liveblogging Pakistan Vs New Zealand T20

1:26 p.m. These random awards at the end are hilarious.

1:11 p.m. And he's gone. Styris holes out to Malik -- no doubt about this one -- and Pakistan win this T20 by 7 runs. No summing up from me, because I'm going to the bathroom for one of those 45 second pisses. Bye.

1:11 p.m. Another single. 8 from 1, and barring a no ball, we're home free.

1:10 p.m. One down, two to go. Just a single to long off. Nine from two.

1:09 p.m. Come on Gullee. Don't let this disturb you. Yorker, yorker, yorker.

1:08 p.m. This is nonsensical. They're calling him back. This is absolutely ridiculous. Cameras will never get you a good angle on those plays. I call bullshit. So it's 10 from three, with Styris back on strike.

1:07 p.m. What's going on here? The umpires have apparently referred that catch, since it was taken very close to the ground. No doubt in my mind that the catch was clean, but I suppose Judas' dastardly reputation precedes him.

1:06 p.m. The closeness of this game is really not helping my bladder.

1:05 p.m. Gone! Franlin smacks it down the ground, and Judas takes an excellent catch. That was dying on him, but he took it nicely running forward around his ankles. Nice going, Judas. Not as nice as your blatant betrayal and scheming, but nice nonetheless. 11 from 3.

1:04 p.m. A yorker squeezed for one. 11 from 4. Franklin on strike. Does he go for it, or does he get Styris back on strike?

1:04 p.m. Wow! A length ball, and Styris smacks it for six. Uh, Gullee, you might think about bowling a yorker here. 12 from 5.

1:03 p.m. Gullee to bowl the last over. 18 needed.

1:03 p.m. Do you think the management of this coffee shop will mind if I just piss under the table?

1:02 p.m. And two to finish the over, leaving 18 off the last. From NZ's perspective, they should be happy that at least Styris is on strike.

1:02 p.m. A single to square leg. 20 from 7.

1:01 p.m. What bowling from Ajmal. Styris gives himself room, Ajmal follows him, and with the turn, ends up beating his cut shot outside leg stump.

1:01 p.m. He starts with a single to long off. Styris back on strike. Key three balls here. 21 from 9.

1:00 p.m. Franklin in.

12:59 p.m I really, really need to piss.

12:58 p.m. Gone! Ajmal gets McCullum, who danced down, got beaten in flight, hit it straight up, and Judas takes it (he would've dropped it if Younis was still captain). It also happens to be a dot ball, which is almost as valuable as the wicket itself. 22 from 10.

12:58 p.m. Ooh, gets away with that one. Short, but hit just for one to deep square.

12:56 p.m. Really smart cricket from Styris, getting it over Akmal's head by scooping a full one from Aamer. Good over for NZ, 15 from it. 23 from 12, and now they're back in front. This has been one of those pendulum games. Ajmal to bowl his last over.

12:56 p.m. Another single. One ball to come. Come on Aamer. No boundaries here. 27 from 13 by the way.

12:55 p.m. A yorker squeezed to point for one. Good comeback from Aamer here after that disastrous length ball first up.

12:54 p.m. Great fielding from Afridi, saving a certain boundary. Still a single though, as Styris looks to be middling it nicely now. McCullum back on strike. 29 from 15.

12:53 p.m. Fuck. Styris smacks Aamer, replacing Gullee, for six over midwicket. Huge hit. And follows with two to cover, slicing it off the edge. 30 from 16. Tight, very tight.

12:52 p.m. And two to deep midwicket to finish. 38 from 18 required. Our noses are back in front here, thanks to a bloody fantastic over from Ajmal. I don't recall a spinner bowling this well in the death since Saqlain in his heyday.

12:51 p.m. Single to short fine. Just five from five so far. End it nicely Ajmal.

12:51 p.m. Ajmal bowls a doosra, and Styris misses it. Dot.

12:50 p.m. A single to short third. Styris back on strike.

12:50 p.m. A single to deep cover. McCullum back on strike. Need him here. Come on Ajmal.

12:49 p.m. Styris chips Ajmal over midwicket for two.

12:49 p.m. Ajmal will bowl out from this end. I need to piss very badly (goddamn large teas I've been ordering) but sadly for my bladder, I must wait now.

12:48 p.m. And a single to finish, making it six off the over. Solid stuff, as usual, from Gullee. 45 from 24 needed.

12:47 p.m. A dot, even though it should've been a single. Styris is a worse runner than Yousuf.

12:46 p.m. Wide yorker, and Styris squeezes it to deep cover for two. 46 from 28. Close this over strong, Gullee. Come on.

12:45 p.m. I should just Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V "Gullee bowls a yorker, and it's a single".

12:45 p.m. And another. Gullee will pretty much bowl yorkers from here on out.

12:44 p.m. Single to start.

12:44 p.m. Gullee replacing Judas. Jeremy Coney sounds pumped.

12:42 p.m. Oh dear. Styris hits it straight to Crazy Imran at deep square, but he had run in too far, has to go back, and drops it, and moreover, it goes for four. Ugh. If we lose, it'll be because of our fielding. Afridi looks very pissed. Anyway, at the end of the over, they need 51 off 30. They're suddenly favorites now.

12:40 p.m. Afridi continuing. Two singles to start.

12:39 p.m. And Styris calmly lifts Judas for four down the ground. I really have no idea why Judas is bowling, given (a) we have five top quality bowlers to bowl their quotas, (b) he leaked a lot of runs in his last over, and (c) he's the embodiment of Evil. Eight off the over, and the equation is now 60 from 36 requires.

12:38 p.m. Our fielding has become really shoddy in the last twenty minutes here. Four from the first three balls here.

12:36 p.m. Ouch. Another tap and run, and Kamran throws it to Afridi like he's standing 400 m away, when it's more like 15 yards. A boundary off the last ball, and all of a sudden, NZ get a good over out of nothing. 86-3. They need 68 from 42. Judas to continue.

12:34 p.m. Afridi continuing, and hit for two down the ground to start. Dot follows, as he beats Styris all ends up with one that turns.

12:33 p.m. NZ need 77 from 48.

12:33 p.m. Judas leaks 11 off his over. 77-3 after 12. This one is going down to the wire people.

12:31 p.m. And Judas bowls a wide down the leg side for four. Maybe his hands are cut from holding all those knives he used to stab Younis in the back? As Rameez says, we're getting a little ragged here.

12:30 p.m. Judas replaces Ajmal.

12:30 p.m. Styris in. This is the partnership, boys. I'd like to get McCullum soon, thanks.

12:28 p.m. Gone! That was always on the cards. Afridi looked like getting an LBW off every ball in this over. Taylor tried to sweep him, but just missed it. Hit the back leg in front of middle and off, and that was easy to give. 66-3 in the 11th.

12:27 p.m. Another one through the legs. Goddamn we're a terrible fielding side.

12:26 p.m. Comical fielding here. No need to throw there, but still, the backing-up was terrible. Two to start.

12:26 p.m. 92 from 60 with eight wickets in hand. Anyone's game here. Afridi into the attack, replacing Gullee.

12:25 p.m. Yikes. Taylor smacks Ajmal for six. That was all bottom hand. Ten off the over, 62-2 after ten.

12:24 p.m. These guys really have no idea how to play Ajmal. Two leg byes to start his over. A single down the ground off the third ball. Pressure building.

12:21 p.m. Afridi looking very involved and energetic in the field, pointing and gesticulating ever which way. He might want to be careful, the last guy who was that involved in the field had multiple knives slipped between his shoulder blades. Anyway, a fairly quiet over with six coming off it. 52-2 after nine.

12:19 p.m. Gullee bowling well here, nice pace and just back of a length.

12:19 p.m. Ross Taylor in.

12:17 p.m. Gone! Guptil plays Gullee on, chopping it down to his off stump. Timely wicket that. 46-2 in the ninth.

12:16 p.m. And a single to finish. Five off, 46-1 after eight. One of these two needs to go here. They can't score 9/10 an over against Ajmal, Afridi and Gullee.

12:16 p.m. And another. Suddenly this is an excellent over.

12:15 p.m. Three dots to follow.

12:14 p.m. Ajmal replaces Tanvir, and is late cut for four first up by Guptill. Nice stroke.

12:12 p.m. Great cricket from McCullum. He plays the Lara swivel on one leg, and helps it over long leg for six. Crazy Imran got a hand to it, jumping up at the boundary, but that was never going to be out. Anyway, 41-1 after seven. Again, NZ doing okay here, but nothing spectacular.

12:11 p.m. Good start from Gullee here, just a single off the first three balls.

12:10 p.m. I love how white people are so fascinated by our complete lack of systematic talent hunting. Jeremy Coney sounds positively enchanted with the way we do things.

12:09 p.m. Gullee replacing Aamer.

12:08 p.m. And two singles to finish, giving them three in the over. Good going. 34-1 after six. Rate required has jumped to more than eight and a half. That's what happens in this format, just one good/bad over, and the equation changes dramatically.

12:07 p.m. A single to cover. Just one off four in this over so far. End it nicely here, Sohail. Do so, and I'll reward you with some naswaar.

12:06 p.m. And another. No boundaries now, Sohail. Come on.

12:06 p.m. Swing and a miss from Guptill. Tanvir doing well here. Two dots to start.

12:04 p.m. Aamer keeps McCullum quiet, and it's 31-1 after five. NZ aren't playing badly by any stretch, but the rate required is a little over eight now.

12:01 p.m. Guptill absolutely drills Aamer right back to him for four. As Waqar says, Aamer is very lucky he wasn't in the way in his follow through. That would have ended his career, if not his life.

12:01 p.m. Aamer continuing here.

12:00 p.m. Aarggh. I hate it when they score a boundary off the last ball of the over, ruining a good one. Guptill slashes Sohail with the angle over backward point for four. 25-1 after four.

11:59 a.m. Nice bowling here from Sohail, just getting some away swing and keeping it tight. He's bowled a few wides, but for the most part, he's been good.

11:58 a.m. Guptill in.

11:57 a.m. Gone! What a catch by Orwell! Tanvir gets Watling (who?) to edge it, and the wide gap between slip and the keeper means Orwell has to go for it. Snatches it one-handed. 20-1 in the fourth.

11:55 a.m. McCullum swinging like a rusty gate, as David Lloyd would say.

11:54 a.m. Nice stroke through backward point for four. 18-0 after three, a solid enough start.

11:52 a.m. NZ just dropping and running here. We have quick legs in the field, but our throwing is utter shite.

11:51 a.m. Nice bowling from Aamer, with a slower one. Beat McCullum all ends up. Question for Pakistan fans: who excites you more, Aamer or Junior? I say Aamer, because bowlers will always win you more games than batsmen. But it's close, let me tell you.

11:48 a.m. Nice shape from Tanvir here, beating McCullum outside off. I really don't like the whole "two left arm quicks opening the attack", but I guess I don't mind it too much in T20s. Generally speaking, their biggest strength is their variety, but batsmen get used to the angle if they get it from both ends. Indians (with Zaheer and Nehra) know what I'm talking about. Actually, I remember in the 90s, Sri Lanka had three left arm quicks in their bowling -- Vaas, Nuwan Zoysa and some other dude I don't remember. Can you guys help with my trivia? Anyway, it's 10-0 after two.

11:46 a.m. Sohail Tanvir, quiet possibly the maila-est looking cricketer I've seen in a decade or more (Basit Ali was the other) opening the attack from the other end. A dot and a wide to start.

11:45 a.m. Quiet end to the over, six off it. 6-0 after one over then. And yes, the connection seems to be much better here.

11:44 a.m. Aamer cranking it up here. Up to 145 km/h.

11:42 a.m. Oooooh. Quick, and McCullum tries to smash it, gets an edge, and it flies to third man for four. NZ are away.

11:41 a.m. And straight away some pace and bounce from Aamer.

11:41 a.m. Sorry about that guys. I just left the other coffee shop because it simply wasn't happening. I think it's better at this coffee shop. Anyway, NZ need 154 to win. Goodish score, but can be easily gotten.

11:26 a.m. Bang! Umar bisects the straight boundary fielders, and gets four. A single to follow, so six off the first three.

11:24 a.m. Ten off the over, 143-5 with one over to go. I'm going to a new coffee shop for the second innings. Maybe my luck will change re: the stopping and starting.

11:23 a.m. After having his hitting talent bitched out by Rameez, Fawad smacks a six. Idiot Rameez.

11:20 a.m. By the way, we're 133-5 after 18. I'd love to tell you what's going on for real, but I can't, other than the fact that Mike Haysman sounds very excited.

11:19 a.m. Question for the techie folk out there: if the sound is coming completely unfettered, but the picture is jumping and skipping, does that mean there's something wrong with (a) my feed, (b) my internet connection, or (c) Windows Media Player? Keep in mind it was completely fine for the first hour and a bit, and I haven't moved to a different internet connection.

11:16 a.m. Sigh. 127-5 in 17.

11:14 a.m. All I can tell you is that it's 123-5 after 16.

11:13 a.m. Yaar the sound is completely fine, but the picture is stopping and starting. This is very pissing off.

11:12 a.m. My feed is acting funny again. Hold on a sec.

11:10 a.m. Well I guess Fawad will get to bat after all.

11:09 a.m. Make that 114-5 after 15.1. Razzaq goes first ball. Huge nick to the keeper, and suddenly we're looking a little wobbly.

11:08 a.m. 114-4 after 15.

11:07 a.m. Popeye in. Poor Fawad, he basically plays in our T20 team as a specialist fielder. Dude never actually gets to bat.

11:06 a.m. Except his getting out! Yaaaayy. Judas holes out, trying to smack it god knows where. Good running catch too.

11:05 a.m. Um, Tony? Do you really want to be appearing so horny on international television? Jeez, you show one hot chick and these commentators go insane. Anyway, Judas gets a four. I'm really not going to celebrate anything he does.

11:03 a.m. Seven off the over with little risk. 109-3 after 14. Bathroom break for me, let's hope nothing happens.

11:00 a.m. Bond back into the attack. Judas with a nice drive down the ground for one, before Junior pulls him for two to midwicket. Follows with a two to wide long off. I feel safe in saying that Junior is the best batting talent to come out of anywhere in the last five years.

10:59 a.m. Great touch from Junior, as he laps McCullum very fine for four. Six and a wicket off the over, 102-3 after 13.

10:58 a.m. Judas off the mark with a single to square leg.

10:57 a.m. Judas in. And now he'll face up, as Junior gets a single to long on.

10:56 a.m. Annnnnd he's gone. Afridi smacks McCullum straight down the throat of Bond at midwicket. Again, in this format, you have to say he did his job.

10:55 a.m. Even bigger from Junior. Wow. One knee, over long on, and the sound coming from these bats is just awesome. Huge over, 17 off it. 96-2 after 12.

10:53 a.m. The biggest difference between the Afridi of this year and the Afridi of the rest of his career is that he now feels satisfied getting a single after smashing a boundary. Whereas earlier he always tried to rub it in and hole out. I don't know what it says about him that it took twelve years of international cricket to mature, but better late than never I suppose.

10:52 a.m. Bang! Afridi deposits Styris for six down the ground. Suddenly this is an excellent over. Is this the push-on?

10:51 a.m. A wide and a two to start Styris' second over.

10:50 a.m. I don't know how I feel about this, but "Billie Jean" is playing at the coffee shop where I'm watching this. By the way, did you guys watch the South Park episode on celebrities dying this year?

10:49 a.m. Just the six off the over. 79-2 after 11. Ugh.

10:48 a.m. Another single. What the hell is going on here?

10:48 a.m. Single to deep cover. Chal na yaar. We need to motor on, kids.

10:47 a.m. Nathan McCullum into the attack. I have no idea what he's appealing for, but it's a leg bye to start. Boom Boom on strike.

10:45 a.m. Styris is bowling like Gavin Larsen here. Seriously, I bowl quicker than this, and I'm a bloody keeper. Can't argue with the results though, since there's just two off the over. 73-2 after ten. Alright boys, let's get a move on.

10:45 a.m. Despite bowling three very hittable balls to Afridi, Styris only goes for one off three so far. Junior back on strike.

10:43 a.m. Styris into the attack. This dude always looks like he just woke up after a night of heavy drinking and head-banging at a metal rock concert.

10:41 a.m. Hahahahah. Afridi tries to smack it to Saudi Arabia, but misses a full one. Damage averted there. Anyway, single to finish and it's 71-2 after nine.

10:40 a.m. Uh oh. No ball, and Boom Boom will get the free hit from Franklin.

10:39 a.m. And great running for two. Rameez is starting to get a hard on, from the sound of his voice.

10:38 a.m. Junior flays Franklin behind point for four. He sliced that, and was close to getting caught by Guptill. Two to third man to follow. Very heady player, Junior. You can just tell he's destined for great things. I mean, he's so good I'm not even afraid of jinxing him -- there's no doubt with guys like him.

10:37 a.m. Junior looking solid here, just trying to tick it over. Seven off the over, and it's 60-2 after eight.

10:35 a.m. Yeah, Boom Boom. Yeah. Not great bowling, but it's midwicket for four.

10:33 a.m. Hahahahahhaha. I have absolutely no idea how to describe that shot by Afridi; my English isn't good enough. Let's just say it was a dot ball and leave it at that.

10:32 a.m. Boom Boom in. A hoik over cover brings him two to start, and we move on to 53-2 after seven.

10:31 a.m. Uh, evidently not much. Orwell tries to Misbah it down to fine leg, but gets tangled up, gets hit on the pad, and that's plumb.

10:30 a.m. Dropped! Butler drops Orwell off his own bowling. Difficult chance, low and to his right. How much will that hurt NZ?

10:29 a.m. What the hell is all the "single" bullshit? That's three in a row.

10:29 a.m. And a single brings up the fifty, in the seventh over.

10:28 a.m. Junior gets a single to third man, just feeding the strike to Orwell (Big Brother, yaar, understand the references).

10:25 a.m. Kamran Razzaqs Franklin for six over mid-on. Cleared his front leg, and just smashed it through the line. 48-1 after six. Pakistan looking good here.

10:24 a.m. Tight start from Franklin, keeping Umar quiet for the first three balls. A misfield at point, however, gives Junior a single.

10:24 a.m. James Franklin into the attack.

10:22 a.m. Junior Akmal works Butler for one through midwicket to get off the mark. And Tony Grieg just called Sunny "healthy". That's South Asian code for "fat".

10:21 a.m. Ah, nice and straight first up from Akmal. No run, but it looked good for sure.

10:21 a.m. Junior Akmal joins big bro.

10:20 a.m. Gone! Crazy Imran is bowled from a leg-stump yorker by Butler. I'm sure that warmed the heart of Waqar in the commentary box. Well, in this format, you have to say Crazy Imran did his job. 40-1 in the fifth over.

10:19 a.m. Crack. The sound from Crazy Imran's bat was awesome there, as he smashes Butler for six over deep square. NZ keep bowling short here; I wonder if it's a plan. If it is, it's a really stupid plan on this pitch, but there you go.

10:18 a.m. What a terrible call. Crazy Imran backed up, Butler bowled it short, it goes over his head, and the ump calls a wide.

10:17 a.m. Ian Butler into the attack. Crazy Imran to face up.

10:15 a.m. I feel very strange supporting this team, I have to be honest. They fucked Younis Khan like a two-dollar hooker. They're my team, but the level of betrayal here is just too much. Anyway, another short one goes to fine leg for four from Akmal's top-edged hook. He picks up the net off his pads over midwicket, and that's a big over. 33-0 after four.

10:13 a.m. Short, leg side, four. Akmal swivels Southee down to fine leg. Terrible bowling. "Runs are just floooowing now," says Waqar.

10:12 a.m. And we're back! Apparently 20-0 after three overs. Hopefully it'll be smooth sailing from here.

10:12 a.m. What I can tell you is that if you want to sell your jewelery, you should definitely use

10:11 a.m. Sorry kids, I have no idea what's going on. I paid my fees and everything. Stand by...

10:07 a.m. My feed is acting funny. Apologies.

10:06 a.m. Sunny and Zaheer in the house!

10:05 a.m. Swing and a miss from Akmal. Baseball shot that.

10:04 a.m. I think someone very recently introduced Waqar to the phrase "fair enough".

10:04 a.m. Sorry, it's 8-0. I thought there was a single to end the over, but it was a dot. Southee starts solidly enough, as does Akmal.

10:01 a.m. Oh, so that's what he was trying to do. Crazy Imran slaps Bond through the covers for four. He then lifts Bond over mid-on for four, though it hardly looked safe. Then again, "looking safe" isn't exactly his MO. A single to end, and 9-0 after the first over.

10:01 a.m. Bond gets some nice carry first up. For the second ball, Crazy Imran tries an ungainly smack through the offside. Nothing happens.

10:00 a.m. We won the toss and are batting first. Akmal and Crazy Imran to open. Bond to begin for NZ.

Hello and welcome to Rs.5's coverage of the second T20 between Pakistan and NZ. We won the first, but in order to do so, apparently needed to lose Younis Khan. As always, all times are local (i.e. Chicago).


AKS said...

That's one terrible shot by Imran Nazir, deserved to get out. Idiot!

AKS said...

"I feel very strange supporting this team, I have to be honest. They fucked Younis Khan like a two-dollar hooker."

For sure dude, I feel weird watching these assholes play - I couldn't even be bothered to watch yesterday's match.

Anonymous said...

to be honest, all i know about this entire fiasco is what ive read in the papers. just one question, did they actually lose on purpose just to get younis sacked?

Amyn said...

why cant these assholes play like this in games that actually matter?

Anonymous said...

ahsan, i cant believe you are advertising 'pakistani girls in saudia' on ur blog!!!this google ad thingy is turning u into a classified pimp...

Anonymous said...

and here comes malik. i wonder if he would accept the captaincy if it came with the condition that he would need to service nawaz sharif ond zardari once a week. im guessing he would

Anonymous said...

and by service i mean have a threesome with

Rabia said...



Indophile said...

Rameez never has a kind word for Fawad, really what a prick

Indophile said...

Staying with cricket, England has belted out South Afirca, 202, Morgan dude is on fire

zardari said...

Anybody following Eng-SA? Crazy batting by SA

Anonymous said...

man, i can't believe umar gul was party to the younus ouster. :-(

Ali said...

South Africa, did it to them selves again.. gj boys. chockers!!!

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